I spent almost 12 years of school, and 3 years of pre-school, with a small group of guys. There was no escape hatch. There was no pressure valve. Since leaving, there have been few places with that intensity of shared experience. Perhaps my residence at university, but by that stage you chose who you spent time with. I come from a community. Warts and all, seeing these guys is like seeing family. They are part of my origin story. We understand things from the perspective that we see them. In context. We like to talk in politics of 'the people' speaking. The only certainty I have found about family struggles is that everyone has them. 'My people' and I didn't always agree. There were great, and there were difficult, times. In a global world, we get to choose our community. A downside is that we don't always work through difficulties. We move on. A real community starts when that option disappears. It starts locally.