Deep Relaxation

In Austria in 2011 I learnt what deep relaxation was. I was in a somewhat false set up. On a Yoga Teacher Training Course far from any commitments. In the middle of the course, I knew I wasn't stressed. I knew I hadn't been stressed for two weeks, and I knew I wouldn't be stressed for another two weeks. An absolute privilege in a manic world. 

Four weeks of leave was very unusual. I didn't take a lot of leave, and never more than two weeks. Leave was usually of the Concertina form. You work really hard before you go to make sure your desk is cleared, then really hard when you get back to catch up. While on leave, it takes time to wind down, and then mental preparation starts for getting back into it.

Saying "No" often gets treated as a fear of commitment or unwillingness to step up. As weakness. I think there is an alternative approach. 

I wasn't inactive on that course. Every day I was learning something, and I was investing heavily in my physical well being. Eating properly. Exercising properly. Breathing properly. Relaxing properly. Relaxing doesn't mean doing nothing. Proper relaxation is active. You actively relax your body, and your mind. Then there is a third level of relaxation. When you are able to let go of measurement. When it stops being about you.

In a meritocratic world, we are constantly assessing our value, worth, contribution and growth. We are constantly being weighed. It is very hard to let go of your ego when it is all about you. Have you done a good job? Have you had a successful career? Where are you headed?

When you have a good practice, that becomes less relevant. It becomes about the process. Ironically, when there is no expectation, you can give significantly more. 

I came back from Austria. I am skeptical of transformational experiences. The most important part of a Fast is the Break Fast. There is no point giving up booze/chocolate for  40 days and then drinking/eating twice as much on day 41. The habit that lasts will be the binging. The trick is how to make the thing you learn a regular, sustainable, part of what you do.

I haven't cracked the code. I still work at my anxiety and stress. I just no longer see it as aspirational. I don't think busyness and high-stress levels are worth applauding. I believe you can build a life where the relaxation soaks deep. Where it ceases to be about you.

Ten Pin Yogis