We can live very different lives, and have such varied values, that massively competing worldviews can lead us to conversations where it becomes clear we are struggling to see what the other person is seeing. If the two sets of decision-making framework have little in common. The two people might even be very close. They may even be in love. Yet they do not see the same thing even when it is in front of them.
Hello in isiZulu is Sawubona. Directly translated, it is “I see you”. Seeing someone means you are sufficiently interested in them to do the work of understanding the building blocks of how they construct their world. Through curiosity and care, deep relationships gently unpack what words, sentences, tone, chunks of meaning, triggers and backstories, create the exchanges each person has with a shared reality interpreted differently.
Money is a blunt tool for this. You don’t have to do the work if you measure your respect for someone by how much they charge, get paid, or own. Instead of relationships where people see each other, they can become job descriptions and conspicuous expectations. Mapping life through things you can count. Success as a life CV of achieved milestones... houses, schools, job titles.
In truth, a really well-lived life might be difficult to express except to the person who walked with you. Except to the person who saw you.
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