Tuesday, May 10, 2022

It's Okay

Much of the anxiety I have experienced comes from expectations. Stated and unstated. Known and unknown. Managing both the conversations in my head, and the clash of projections when I am bumping into other complicated conversations in other heads and hearts. 

I don’t completely buy the Stoic approach of having periods of nothing and realising you are completely okay. If *nothing* is acceptable, then you know you can handle *anything*, because having nothing, can't destroy you. I like building. I am worried about unintended consequences, and loss from pressing the reset button. 

For me, the idea of constantly being negative, so that when horrible things happen you were expecting them, is dangerous. For the simple reason that being constantly negative is unpleasant. 

Managing expectations has to be a tool, rather than a purpose. I do think you need to be aware of what your default setting is. My preference is to be optimistic. I think if you can get through the noise, the confidence you need isn’t knowing what will happen, but feeling like you can handle what life throws at you. 

I want to find joy in life. I want to enjoy the process. Manage expectations, but not be constantly bitter and twisted. 

In Wu Wei philosophy, they talk about De (εΎ·) (like 'Duh' in American) which is something like charisma and confidence... but deeper soaked and with less to prove. 

Less that waves of anxiety are not there, but exuding the sense that, fundamentally you are alright. Fundamentally, you will be okay.

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