Our friends, family, colleagues, clients, and service providers are on different paths that have connected with ours at some stage.
They may run in parallel for a while. They may veer off significantly. You are only related to yourself from yesterday. Each day, you open your eyes anew. Your relationship with yourself and others evolves.
You can’t recreate the time when you spent the most time with a friend. It passes. You can choose how to allocate your time now. Accepting that almost everything is temporary.
In Troy, Achilles says the secret is that the gods envy us... because we are mortal. Because the temporary moments are beautiful and fragile. We have to truly want things to last, and do the work to protect them. To make the tradeoffs. To understand the choices.
Troubles and challenges come and go. They can be open to a different meaning when, and if, you are able to deal with them. When you feel equipped to deal with them.
I grew up in a gender apartheid environment where guys are trained to behave in a certain way. One reason men can be less vulnerable is that there is a real feeling of disrespect. Vulnerability can be viewed as a call for help.
Part of the way I was deep soaked, is in self-reliance. You are “the lender of last resort”. There is no one else to turn to. You should be able to deal with your slice of challenges and give more to the world than it gives to you. It can feel like adapting and adjusting is admitting that you don’t have control.
The truth is no one does. Our varying paths are attempts at truth seeking and truth creation. Path dependent, and intertwined. With our past, with our future, and with each other.
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