Wednesday, July 20, 2022

Relax into Discomfort

The process of learning and engaging with the craziness of the world creates trials where it is okay to make errors. When you are in an environment where you have confident control over the risk of ruin. 

It is not a big deal if things go wrong. You want to be surprised. Like a child who delights in things not going in the way they expected. You can incorporate that learning and curiously see what is going to happen when you again poke the unknown. Confident in the ability to relax into discomfort to create powerful questions. 

This is something I have to work on. I find that when you care, and like caring, it can create tension. Those I care about the most sometimes don’t get the best version of me because I care so much. When something becomes so important that nothing else matters, humour can disappear. You can lose the things you care about most because you are trying too hard. 

One of the ideas I have wrestled with is “unconditional love”. The lack of boundaries can ironically mean it is impossible to relax. I don’t like the idea of escape hatches. I think you need to do the work when things go wrong. You can’t build if you are constantly restarting. 

Returning to some basic self-care, and holding onto the ability to repair, recover, and regenerate, can increase the capacity for commitment. Awareness of the limits of temporary learning, and when retreat is necessary. 

You don’t need to learn through pain. Controlled stress is sufficient. Playing within limits, and having a good sense of what limits you are comfortable with. Part of investing is taking risks, but you are not rewarded for taking risks. You are rewarded for adding value. 

The key to a powerful timeframe is self-awareness, self-knowledge, self-love, and returning to a foundation of basics.


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