It’s
not about me
A focus on
identity is a recipe for unhappiness. Identity is temporary and is a manifestation of our shared existence. I believe in an infinite world with no
beginning and no end. A world I have no way of understanding and yet will
continue to try understand. My deepest held belief is something I do not
believe. I do not matter, but if I believe that, then nothing will matter. I
stand for empowerment. The ability to see in others beauty and strength to
which I aspire. I will define myself as someone who is unwinding his
definition.
My drawing of a friend
It’s
all about me
I can only
understand the world through the tools I have been given. This includes my
reality, the skills I have and grow, and the way the world interacts with me.
Fighting this is not constructive. In understanding myself, I have the greatest
ability to contribute. I have to look after the vehicle (physical self) and
emotions (how I respond) to participate fully. I will continue to be curious,
using the only fully willing ‘model’ to draw. All I need is a mirror. So I will
not be afraid of the mirror. I will be a half-hearted fanatic, willing to give
generously but fiercely defending the boundaries needed to protect my ability
to give sustainably. I will not throw my life away. It is precious. I will also
not live meekly. I will take calculated risk. I will let my emotions lead me
where indecision would stifle my ability to engage. I will be brave. I will not
fear death, I will fear not living.
A friend's drawing of me
Detachment
I will live my
life by walking lightly and loving deeply. I work on built-in redundancy.
Building resilience, and the ability to cope with whatever the world throws at
me. When I face disappointment, I try and do something amazing that I couldn’t
have done if that milestone had not happened. This doesn’t make me celebrate
and enjoy the ‘dreams that died’ any less. I like to imagine infinite parallel
universes in which anything that could have happened, did happen. This is just
my opportunity to make the most of this particular random set of events. I try
let go of the idea that everything happens for a reason. Reasons are added in
hindsight. Detachment helps give life meaning rather than having meaning given
to me.
Self-Portrait (2000, 2001 & 2002)
Empathy
I am not a bat. I can not see through the eyes of a bat. It is not possible for me to imagine being someone else. I can only imagine
myself in their world. It is not possible for me to let go of my own tools of
understanding. It is worth trying. We have wonderful imaginations and can
expand our realities by learning the tools of others. By finding a way to
connect to and enrich our worlds through others. That is one of my primary
motivating factors. Curiosity to expand my ability to see.
Creativity
I do not believe
creativity is purely about bringing visions to reality. It is a conversation. A
dance. A relationship. I try be an active participant in the world and
celebrate what it has to offer. Creativity is cultivating the art of
appreciation. Developing a deeper knowledge and mastery of the way different
elements engage. Developing a deeper knowledge of how we communicate. Through
words, music, drama, colour, line, form, phrasing, tone, silence, contrast,
energy and warmth. Diving into creativity is the source of our ability to
thrive.
Acceptance
There are 7.4
Billion people on the planet and too many problems, even in my own family, even
in my own life, to sort out. It is not my job. I am not able to sort out the
worlds problems. There will always be challenges. There will always be pain,
sadness, suffering and darkness. That is part of beauty. Developing a life
approach where I feel comfortable with the balance between appreciating the
world for what it is, and nudging it in a way that adds and sustains value.
Relationships
I believe the heart
of understanding is tangible connections. In intimate relationships, we can
develop an understanding of things that goes beyond the conscious. That taps
into our Tacit Knowledge. I treasure, cultivate, and invest in relationships. I
experiment with ways to grow and sustain my connections to others. I learn how
people communicate, and how I can best communicate with them. I want to help
build communities, and believe that starts with individual connections.
Empowerment
I hate Archy. It
drives me bonkers. I believe in empowerment rather than power. I do believe in
rules, but as a tool. Rules are simply the consciously understood terms of
engagement. If the rule is not followed, it is not really a rule. I try manage
this by lowering my expectations of others, but being generous in what I give out.
In accepting that other people’s irritation and disappointment is their own to
manage. This is counter to my natural emotional wiring which is a ‘Saviour
Complex’ and a hatred of ‘getting things wrong’. The only thing I can control
and impact is my own emotional world, and my own actions. I take responsibility for that. I will shift my
Saviour Complex to an Empowerment Drive.
