The Deep Work

The first read of anything worth understanding is incredibly confusing. Like listening to an audio book in a language that you haven’t learnt. Nothing sinks in. But not nothing. Surrounding yourself in something you don’t understand is exactly what you did for the first few years of your life. We all did. We soaked in different worlds which is why we see alternative realities. But we were all wide eyed and confused. Gradually picking up cues as to what is funny. Reflecting emotions. Recognising patterns. Words that get repeated. Words connected to things we like. Things we don’t like. The power of words. The real power of sentences. The super-power of whole conversations that can be summarised in a knowing look. Whole conversations that can be connected. Anything worth understanding is worth relaxing into the confusion for. We over value people being “naturals”. We over value finding things easy. The good stuff needs you to do the deep work. Doing the deep work needs you to relax.

Words connected to things we like

Selling Confidence

Engaging with the world is incredibly confusing. In our heads and hearts, we all have moments where we don't have a clue what is going on, or what we should do next. We don't have direct access to other people's heads and hearts. Some of them seem to know what is going on. That confidence is very attractive.

Almost all exchanges of money are for problems that are being solved. Great businesses are those that can articulate problems really well. The person with the money recognises the problem, and wants it solved. 

A friend of mine sells Coffee Roasting Machine. His pitch is simple. You can buy the Coffee Roaster and he'll supply the cheaper unroasted beans, or he'll give it to you if you carry on buying the beans from him at the same price you are already buying them. It is a no-brainer. As long as the quality of coffee is as good or better, the Coffee Shop gets the drawcard of freshly roasting coffee and nothing else changes.  The 'problem' wasn't there, but a better reality was on offer.

What is often been solved is Confidence. Someone else, with clarity, is able to describe a better world.

I love this world. Full of its confusion and emotion and challenges. Not everything is a problem to be solved. Part of my motivation in focusing on money and Engine Building is to free us from problem-solving. To free us from pretend confidence.

We are all confused. I don't want to pretend I am not. We can't put all our needs into words. Sometimes we just have to be there with and for each other. Being confused. Sometimes we just need to take a deep breath and smell the roasting coffee.

U-Roast

Space Chip

My friend Clair (a poet) shared her favourite warm-up tongue-twister, 'There is a chip shop in space, that sells space ship shaped chips'. Say that ten times fast. When I was about 7, I was struggling academically. I have never been good at pretending I understand things when I don't. I get a 'deer in the headlights' look. I withdraw. A group of us were put into 'Speech & Drama' classes as remedial therapy for those struggling in the classroom. Lots of tongue twisters. It is a great example of how 'the problem is not always the problem'. Some how the tongue twisters also untwisted my learning ability. I am still a slow learner. I still get lost in the grass for long periods. Discomfort and confusion is completely necessary in the learning process. When we are kids, they are met with love and compassion. When we are adults, they can be met with derision. Perhaps we could all do with more Space Ship Shaped Chips.

Space Chip

ukuphindaphinda

Enye yeendlela iindlela abantwana bafunda ngazo, kukuphindaphinda. Bazokopisha abazali babo nootitshala. Amagama nezenzo ziphindaphinda ngokuphindaphindiweyo njengomdlalo. Ukuqonda akukho, kodwa bafundisa imizimba yabo. Imizimba yabo iyazuza ukuqonda ngendlela. Xa ndizama ukufunda iSiXhosa, andizange ndikwazi ukuphinda ndiphinde ndiyidlale. Into endiyibonayo inegama lesiNgesi eliqhotyoshelweyo. Iimvakalelo zesiNgesi. Ngcamango zesiNgesi. Andikholelwa ukuba ukufunda iilwimi malunga nokukwazi ukuguqulela igama elinye. Ngokuphathelele ukwakha iwebhu yokuqonda. Ukufumana imibuzo emihle. Ukusebenzisa ukungaqondi, kodwa ukhululekile kunye nokungahambi kahle kokufunda.

Awkward and Confused

As we grow up, different bits start growing at different rates. The result can be... awkward. The little baby whose punches everyone loves becomes the toddler who they are scared of. The cute talk becomes incessant chatter. Then the stretching starts happening. I have been in Joburg, opening the Pandora's Memory Box by scanning childhood photos and sending a few back to my partner, Gemma, back in London. Quotable Quote she says... 'Shew (mocking my South African accent), your forehead really has always taken up a lot of space'. When I was a boy I had various nicknames for bits that were out of line. The forehead was a beacon for banter.

The same is true of our opinions on various things. As we grow up we discover some of the beautiful questions in the world. Our answers come as quick as our confidence. Confidence is valued. It seems like intelligence. Especially if you know marginally more than the person asking. The person who admits to the thick fog enveloping them can seem stupid. So our opinions are bold. Own the big teeth. Own the glasses. Own that head that should have its own weather system. But we stumble along when we realise our opinions were misguided. One of the beauties of childhood is that most people other than those immediately around you, don't remember who you 'used to be'. You can hold on to the bits you like and slowly nibble away at areas of ignorance.

I am always amazed at the love parents give kids even when they are little monsters. We are able to say, when energy allows, that whatever the bad behaviour is, that is not who they are. They are still growing up. Even if the teeth need a set of railway tracks to force them into line, with some work, we can choose who we want to be.

The prefontal cortex of the brain apparently matures at around age 25. Up till that point, there are quite literally bits of the foundation of our personality that we aren't physically in possession of. But all learning is the brain changing, and it can carry on changing throughout life. We can carry on seeing which bits are being stretched too far, which bits we need to reign in, which bits we need to grow into. I think the key is being surrounded by people who are willing to give you a little leeway to learn, being willing to self reflect, and willing to tweak.

Comfortably Awkward

Learning is awkward. When you are a baby stumbling taking your first steps, there are lots of people showing delight at every movement and utterance. When you are a gangly teenager very aware of different parts of your body stretching and growing, you have fewer cheerleaders and perhaps even some malice from school 'buddies' figuring out how to behave themselves. You expect that at some point you will know. A bright shining light will come down through the clouds and illuminate all your doubts. As you get older you start twiddling your thumbs waiting for this light to arrive. Then you start to realise that no one knows. The 'experts' can even be the wrong place to look for the truth. We are all just figuring it out, and doing the best we can. As Warren Berger puts it, we are just honing 'A More Beautiful Question'.

In Jeffrey's guest post about lifelong learning, I really liked the idea of 'interval training' style learning. I think there are more similarities between the various types of physical, emotional and mental learning we do than we acknowledge. In 'Antifragile', Nassim Taleb makes the case for good stress. This is effectively what interval training/learning is. When you push yourself to the limits of what you can do in short bursts with periods of relaxation in between. If something is antifragile it actually benefits from stress. It is the same case that Christopher McDougall made in 'Born to Run' where by not pushing through some of the discomfort we have in running and trying to soften impacts (e.g. with cushioned shoes) we actually end up doing ourselves harm. Tim Ferriss aims to refine this approach by finding the highest impact, least time-consuming ways of exercising (he tries to do it with work, cooking and everything else too).

In realising that everyone is figuring things out, and becoming comfortable with periods of awkwardness, confusion, haze and doubt perhaps we can become more like brave babies learning than terrified teenagers. It also means we need to be more like the supporting parents to each other than the schoolyard bullies. We can be comfortably awkward.

Every Day & Comfortable Confusion

Gabe Wyner has written a book and has a website and other tools to help people become 'Fluent Forever'. I am slowly making my way through the material each day targeting French to try and break me out of my monolingualism (my Afrikaans is too much in need of resuscitation to count). I am still very much in the confused state. Wyner came to language through his love for music (he is an Opera singer) and the approach using the door of sound and recall (recognising rather than memorising) fascinates me. While the tools are helpful, my impatient Rider has to be constantly reminded to breathe and be kind to my Elephant. Gaining comfort with confusion seems to be essential in picking up new skills. I also think regularity is important. I have been busy teaching two Yoga courses at the moment. One finishes today (Yoga 1) and another finished on Tuesday (Yoga 2). The Yoga 2 course was once a week. The Yoga 1 course for complete beginners has been every day for 4 days. Both courses had 4 installments. It is incredible seeing the difference in progress between the two classes. Elephants seem to have weak short term memories, but if you give them regular, kind attention guiding them through their confusion - they never forget. That's the theory - and if true, hopefully my Elephant will slowly make more sense of Wyner's video below.