Pause the Music

It’s dangerous if you need, rather than want, the music to keep on playing. One of the challenges with work relying on any one particular individual is we only get concertina leave. Leave can become the thing we work towards, a reward for all the energy we need to focus on delivering. Leave becomes a glimpse of an alternative reality. You take some time to wind down from work. Then, as soon as you wind down it is almost time to mentally prepare for starting up again. 

If you do “worry work”. If the kind of work you do is not the kind that you leave in the office. If it is the kind you carry with you all the time, because you are solving complicated problems. It can be a mental challenge to avoid living with those problems 24-7.

What was fascinating with the Yoga Teacher Training course I went on was that it was, a full, four weeks. I started feeling relaxed, but going to layers and levels of relaxation that I had never gone to. I wasn’t stressed, but I also knew with a deep confidence that I wouldn’t be stressed in two weeks' time. I am also a creature of routine in a world that is too chaotic for that to normally be possible. The course was in an alternative construction of reality. 

I was waking up on rhythm. Going to bed on rhythm. Eating on rhythm. I was also exercising twice a day, eating well, and in a beautiful environment. It was a simple, inexpensive, bubble. There was nothing flashy about it. We were engaging and talking about stuff that really seemed to matter and unpacking the world. It was a beautiful time.

It shifted something deep inside me. I had warned a friend to come get me if I didn’t come back. You hear these stories of people going off to Ashrams, never coming back, and cutting themselves off from their communities. I did go back. I did re-engage, but it had a lasting effect on how I saw things and what I thought was important.

Doing my Thing

Joint decision-making is hard. Particularly in many cases where two careers paths full of stakes in the ground are in competition. One advantage of my flexibility post work was that I could happily choose based on other constraints. 

Gemma was going on a tour of libraries to study how they were changing. Two of those stops were Scandinavian countries, and the balance in North America. I tagged along! (and changed/added a couple of stops). She would go to the libraries by bus, train, or car to get there quickly. I would walk to intentionally get there slowly. 

Urban hiking is cost-effective (money-wise) when you have the luxury of time (a different form of wealth). It allows you to experience places in a very different way. I could still write my blog (swartdonkey.blogspot.com), but it would be flavoured by the experiences of wherever I was. 

Instead of the rush of a traditional holiday which can be very expensive, where you feel obliged to pack as much in as possible, I could breathe. I didn’t view it as a normal holiday. I was just doing my thing in a different location. I didn't need a holiday from this way of life! 

I liked sitting in coffee shops and reading about the places I was in. Letting that inspire my next post. Seeing how that connected to and influenced the path my thoughts were on. 

While I was in Vancouver, I went to have coffee with an old colleague I used to ponder with in work breaks. He described the world as complex, random, and ambiguous. That struck a lasting chord with me.

Walking the Bridge

Full Time

I stopped working in the Corporate World in August 2014 (Spoiler alert – I returned in February 2021). The first thing I wanted to do was to travel. 

I had a close family friend’s wedding coming up on the opposite side of the rock (Australia), and I now had time available to accept the invitation. 

In the UK, standard leave entitlement is 28 days, with it being frowned upon to take more than two weeks in a single chunk. Australia is a long way to go for that kind of break, both from the expense and the jet-lag perspective. Leave becomes preciously allocated. 

Work becomes the default. What you do every morning. The way we structure work is typically “full time”. Work will be found. It is not a case of whether there is work to do. You never get to the bottom of the work container. Work is a deeply engrained habit. So much so that it is hard to do work when there is no structure. You can say to someone, “Yeah, sure, we must do coffee” but you don’t arrange a time, and so it doesn’t happen. 

So rules that remind us to do things are helpful, but the “full time” rule seems a little excessive. It can mean that you don’t end up doing a lot of the things that are important to you because work takes priority. “Sorry I don’t have time, I have to work” becomes a one-stop-shop wall that cannot be legitimately questioned.

Taking Time Down Under

Sorry, Thank You, Yay!

When some people move away from faith, they don't move away from the culture. Many of the Atheists I know are Jewish. The Atheists who were Christian hesitate to say the same thing. Alain De Botton talks about Atheism 2.0. Basically, moving on from the break-up/divorce stage to the co-parenting phase. Raising the importance of 'what is best for the child'. Many of us still live in communities where we have important relationships that bind us, despite intense pain we'd rather be rid of. Where the Escape Hatch isn't there any more. At that point, it isn't a question of who is right. It is a question of 'What is the next best step?'

Today is Yom Kippur. Its central themes are atonement and repentance. A day when you genuinely say sorry to people for the things you have done wrong in the last year. Traditionally, it is attached to a 25 hour fast. As it so happens, fasts are actually good for your stomach. A little like brushing your teeth for the insides. An annual spring clean is a good idea. A day of reflection on your missteps is also a good idea.

Yom Kippur

Another non-religious holiday I have always like the idea of, even if the origins are controversial, is Thanksgiving. Although there are other connections, it dovetailed with the seasonal harvest. An annual celebration giving thanks for what we have. Quite often as the religious tones changed, the holidays survived. Keep the tree, change the decorations. Saying thank you is a good idea no matter what you believe.

Thanksgiving

Another one I love is Diwali. A festival of lights. A celebration of knowledge beating ignorance. A celebration that despite the major struggles we face, we tend to chip away at them. Lights shine if we let them.

Diwali

There are lots of difficulties in the world. Lots of fights and clashes and issues and pain. We don't have to go nuclear on the whole situation though. We don't have to rage, and burn, and slash, and destroy. We can still build on the good bits. See the good bits. As Bruce Lee said, 'Use what is useful, Discard what is not, Add what is uniquely your own'.

Delight & Treats

Beyond death and taxes, I have come across two more certainties in life. 

The first is 'this too shall pass'. Whether you are happy (yay!), sad (aaahh!), proud (yay!), disappointed (aaahh!), excited (yay!), anxious (aah!) or fulfilled (yay!). For those who love Christmas day, savour it and the time you get to spend with friends and family. For those for whom it is a bit tough, tomorrow is Boxing Day. For me that means test match cricket. The season is short either way.

The second certainty is Beacon Turkish Delight from my Mom. I absolutely love the stuff, but only on Christmas and my Birthday... and truth be told, it has to come from my Mom. Little treats that happen every now and then. Like Hot Cross Buns and (again Beacon) Marshmallow Easter Eggs.

I hope you have a wonderful Christmas day. Eat, drink and be merry! ... or Sit, reflect and be grateful. Whatever choice of delight is your favourite.