Unpacking

A cornerstone of my personal story is having grown up in South Africa during Apartheid. I was born in 1980. Nelson Mandela was released in 1989. 

One of those events where everyone remembers where they were. Like seeing the Twin Towers coming down, or hearing about the death of Princess Diana. I can remember being at close family friends, sitting on a big, puffy, pink cushion. That was where I watched on television as Nelson Mandela left Victor Verster (now Drakenstein) prison with his fist raised. 

The 80s were a tumultuous time in South Africa. A collective existential crisis. Who were “we”? In 1985, P.W. Botha delivered the “Rubicon Speech” as the world’s objection to white minority rule reached crescendo. He attempted to say there was no turning back. Nelson Mandela would not be released. He was wrong. 

We constantly have to renegotiate the way we interact with each other. Our agreements. Who we see ourselves as. What we include in our identity. What we exclude. Who we support. Who we hold down. Who we are. 

Some of these stories are inherited. We have to do the hard work of unpacking the consequences of past decisions. Unpacking shared stories. So we can raise our fists and walk forward.

Flour for Grain

The temporary problem that you are solving is not the point. If you need to switch grain for flour, why? Flour does not define your life. It is just the immediate exchange that is happening. That is why we need to talk about money. It is one of the topics we typically avoid because it feels dirty. Avoiding uncomfortable conversations like sex, religion, and politics. We end up carrying the baggage packed through a stuffed relationship with money. The sense of not having enough. Envy. A sense of too much. Guilt. A sense of it controlling us. Frustration. Of it controlling others. Jealousy and neglect. Of not understanding it. Confusion. Money as a hovering external presence. There are basics you just learn. That you copy till you understand. If you fear numbers, you must not fear learning. You must not fear unpacking your fear.

Operation of a Ball Mill