Submission Hold

I am the youngest of three brothers, by four years. My oldest brother is powerful. My middle brother is cunning and good with submission holds. I am good at not submitting. I was also good at making a lot of noise. When it came to the heart of arguments, there was a lot of pressure to just say sorry, and admit that I was wrong. I learnt that was sometimes the best course of action. Just say, “Sorry, I am wrong”. But my cunning brother knew my tricks. He did not just want a sorry. He wanted me to mean it. Perhaps that is where I got my aversion to some Corporate Politics. When someone says, “It is your decision, but this is what I would do” but means “just do what you are told”. I know I should play along with the illusion of delegated authority, when the truth is it is just delegated responsibility. People higher up the chain unwilling to fall on their swords, who want control without any blame for failure. Who become professionals at judging other people as not good enough, while never looking in the mirror. It is only meritocracy if everyone is being judged. Otherwise, it is a club.

Kneebar - Submission Hold

Building Bridges

Playing the Corporate Game involves not burning bridges. When it comes to interviews, reviews, and exit discussions, senior people will regularly bemoan the lack of honest, meaningful, feedback. Honest  feedback isn’t the same thing as true feedback. We are all projecting our stuff. So if your feedback is pointed, it is often a reflection on you. That is why people know to hold back. Otherwise they are exposing their bits. Honesty will get held against you in promotions, compensation, and the quality of references you are given. Many references simply confirm the work dates. Many “weaknesses” are “I am a bit of a perfectionist”. So I get why people don’t want to talk about their black lives matter experiences in white majority companies. They don’t want to be the idiot who takes the request at face value. Smart people know that when a boss says, “This is my view, but it’s your decision”. They mean, “Just do what you are told”, but want to lie to themselves that they can delegate. Corporates like delegating responsibility, but not authority. Few people will take responsibility for why we are having the black lives matter conversation. People will be honest when bosses stop playing games.

Staying Rooted

If we were all farmers, delegation would be easier. The person giving the task, and the person accepting the task would understand each other clearly. Developed over the thousands of years since we learned to tame the land, our words would probably mean the same thing. The tasks would be well understood, even if seasons and the weather had the final say. We are not all farmers. Our words don’t mean the same thing. We often end up having to delegate tasks in areas we do not understand, so we can focus on our own slice (which we understand better than others, maybe). Due Diligence is the process of taking reasonable steps of oversight. Kicking the tires to check for defects or poor quality. Trust but verify. It’s worth collecting good questions. Knowing what to ask. What to look for. My preference is for as little abstraction as possible. I want to know what the Jam is. The product. How it is made. Who makes it. The process. Too many layers, and I’ll pass. We may not be farmers, but staying rooted still matters.

Not Farmers