Showing posts with label Long Read. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Long Read. Show all posts

Friday, September 24, 2021

Chapter 4 - Risk

Financial Yoga - Stilling the Waves of Money Anxiety

We speak in chunks. A single word can connect to a world of shared meaning, or none at all. There is too much for us to understand, so we pick areas and hopefully have overlaps that allow the important bits to spread. Risk is a chunky word. 

When choosing a path to financial security, risk was the overlap I chose to study. Actuarial Science is a framework for making financial sense of future uncertainty. Primarily through statistical and business understanding of the past using large data sets. It takes advantage of the law of large data sets. 

There are different forms of uncertainty and risk. For most people, risk normally just means something going wrong. The study of risk goes wider than that. Looking at complexity, ambiguity, and the randomness of the world, and trying to find within that, “is there anything that we can rely on?”. 

When you look at individual instances of something, life can feel like a spin of the coin or roll of the dice. But if they are fair, there are 6 sides of a dice and 2 sides of a coin. Actuarial Science is partly the study of, and attempt to weather, the storms of “the underlying” rather than the specific result. A consideration for the variety of outcomes that is a form of “there, but for the grace of God, go I”. 


Life is a series of choices based on the options we are given. Where we end up depends in part on luck, in part on where we started, and in part on how consciously we play our part. A physical demonstration of this is the Galton Board. It demonstrates the idea of the normal distribution. 

Even though there is a lot of randomness in the world, a step or two back often reveals a pattern. A wide variation for the individual, but a lot more predictability around central points. You get distributions of results. You get extremes. Our news and stories tend to focus on the extremes, and pay less attention to long term averages and normal people. 

With a Galton Board, a ball will fall down, and it will go left or right, left or right, left or right. Facing repeated decisions. The situations we are in and the choices we make carry Karma. Choices have consequences. There are sometimes opportunities to correct mistakes but you have to work through historic consequences. What we do matters. History matters. 


We don’t all have the same choices, but we can increase the set of tools we have to have a degree of autonomy over what lies in front of us. No one has a view of the whole picture, or the ability to process it. We do not know in advance what the correct destination is, or what our future choices will be. We make our choices based on what we already know, with a limited glimpse forward of the possible consequences of our actions. There are individuals whose choices go against the grain, but if you look at a big enough picture, prejudices and bias starts to show. 

Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky opened up the field of Behavioural Finance and the study of cognitive biases. When you look at groups and group decisions, you can get a sense of how our processes work. This doesn’t mean we aren’t individuals. But we are individuals who don’t live in isolation. Our choices are affected by the choices of those around us. They are affected by the constraints of physics, time, and our very human limits. Context is everything when grasping at the randomness, ambiguity, and complexity of wrestling with personal choices and understanding. 

You can think of risk as stress, and stress is not all bad. “Discomfort is the entry ticket to a meaningful life”. In exercise, you have High Impact Interval Training. Putting the body under stress in a controlled fashion can be a good thing. That is the way we learn. The body follows a use-it-or-lose-it strategy, and is ruthlessly efficient at redistributing its energy. If you start doing press-ups, your muscles will get bigger as your body responds. If you stop doing those press-ups, your muscles will get smaller. If you go for runs regularly, you will get faster and it will become more comfortable. If you stop running for a while, you start getting tired when you go for random, irregular runs. The body directs resources to where they are needed, and takes them away when they are not used. 

If you want to build up strength, you put your body under stress in a controlled fashion to build up your capacity for when you are in uncontrolled situations. Developing the strength and flexibility to maintain control when you are not in a planned environment. I am not sure whether I consider myself a “risk-taker”. I go through waves, phases and situations where I am very risk-averse and others where I am comfortable with discomfort. 

When I think of when I was a little guy, there are definitely stories where I was absolutely fearless, and others in the other direction. There was a big chap that I had an intense rivalry with at school. I was... not big. I was tiny. Smaller than most of the girls. Still, I played Hooker in Rugby until I was 12 years old. My fearlessness (at that stage) meant I didn’t seem to realise I was so small. My nemesis was in the first team, and I was in the second (of two) team(s), and we used to do drills against each other for tap-and-run. Jones would regularly take the taps, and I’d be the guy who would want to tackle him. Maybe it was because of our personal rivalry, but maybe it was because the bigger they are the harder they fall. If you get the tackle right, it doesn’t matter how big they are. It didn’t seem to matter to me that I normally didn’t get the tackle right and got munched. The (few) times I did were worth it. Risk and reward. 

My growth spurt was delayed. After being a fearless forward in my introduction to rugby, I was introduced to high school. I had not grown, and my mother was not happy on the sidelines (not) seeing a tiny boy being swallowed up in the middle of a scrum with a habit of collapsing. I was not fast at all, nor particularly skillful with the ball, and didn’t have any strategic insight and overview of field positioning. The choice to move to the backline also seemed to sap my courage when monsters had run-ups. A friend of mine, Shaun used to delight in running towards me and screaming because I would just throw the ball away. 

Fearless kicked in at various stages when my voice deepened, and centimeters stretched. I once again became more willing to throw myself into situations where I could potentially get hurt. At the University of Cape Town, we had the RAG (Remember and Give) Olympics. I believe one of the events, the step races, has subsequently been dropped. Our version was not even as bad as in the early days, when they used to toboggan headfirst down the steps in front of the main hall with accidents regularly resulting in broken jaws. By the time we got our turn to be the stupid ones, we just used to run and dive. Strapped with a few bits of cardboard as “protection”. John, the guy who taught us what to do kept it simple, “just look over the horizon towards the mountains, and run straight.” .

Unlike other residences, we even had trials. I decided I really wanted to make the team, and even though I wasn’t fast, I could be stupid. In theory, if you land correctly with your feet, momentum will take you forward and you won’t get hurt. In the trials, I set off steaming a full 13 steps in a row. Sprinting as if I was on solid earth without even looking where my feet were going. It started well, and I steamed ahead, but after the disruption of the dive on the second landing... something went wrong. I tumbled down the remaining steps tearing the ligaments in my ankle. In the actual final, one of our (“successful” in trials) team members broke his leg in several places. Stupid can work. Temporarily. 

In other events we would pick the smallest available guy to sit in a shopping trolley, and race around the loop through Oxford-style leaf-covered residences. There is a long list of stupid things I have done. 

In 2014, it could seem like a very risky thing to be doing for me to have stepped away from the Corporate world. No longer having the certainty of a salary. No longer wanting to work for money. But you need to unpack conspicuous risk. When you look at a salary, it is not as safe as you think. The idea of a job for life is not there anymore. You are dependent on the financial well-being of the company you work for. Part of stilling your own waves of money anxiety is being able to understand business in general. 

How do you know whether a (your employer’s) business is in a position to survive? Businesses are more fragile than we think. It isn’t just about how good their product/idea is. The strength of their reserves (Capital) and container (barriers to entry) matter even more. Pushing responsibility to owners/managers to still our financial anxiety when creative destruction constantly attacks the forces of supply and demand, is a structural risk. 

I got to have a stab at another way of approaching life, because I had built reserves and a container separate from my job or the companies I was working at. When a country isn’t wealthy enough (e.g. South Africa), or even if a country is wealthy enough (e.g. the United Kingdom), to have a solid safety net, we start pushing responsibility to owners and managers saying, “they need to look after the employees and create jobs.” 

In some ways I think that is fair. Firms can use team language when convenient, and treat people (employees and clients) as disposable tools at other times. The danger with that is the condescending idea that there is a class of people responsible for looking after people, and an underclass of dependents doing their bidding for a hand-to-mouth living. Both decision making and responsibility can be shared in a way consistent with autonomy and consent. If we build proper resilience and endurance. If we aren’t solely reliant on salaries or welfare. 

What happens when companies go bust? What happens when countries can’t tax more or borrow more? As we have seen during Covid-19, a large number of the institutions we rely on are not designed for extended periods of challenge. To be creative, you need the capacity to survive the winter. 

Wealth creation is at its heart, risk management. A lot of maths used for the management of risk is problematic. There is a desire to make it look pretty, and come up with models and numbers to give the illusion of understanding. If you can measure it, you can manage it, the theory goes. The real value in models is simply a device for thinking through something. A tool to help us compare and communicate. 

The danger is that when things are complicated, you often see whatever it is you are looking for. If a bunch of investors are looking for the best companies, and they define that as something that gives a return of 15-20%, you can be sure most of their models will spit out 15-20%. You don’t really understand risk if you then use that to rank various different analysts’ work. Your 20% is not my 20%. My 20% is not even my 20%. Add a couple of decimal places, and you realise that 36.79% of numbers are made up. 

Having a summary number doesn’t give you a full understanding of risk. Doing the work gives you a clue. Getting things wrong gives you a clue. I was told that when you go to university, you come out thinking you know nothing and when you go to vocational colleges, you come out knowing very specific and useful skills. 

What Actuarial Science did was teach me a bit of humility. I failed academic tests for the first time. I had failed things before. I got my driver's license on the fourth attempt. Not because I couldn’t drive, more likely I failed because I was confident I could drive. I got some free lessons from an instructor who saw me in the newspaper. I should have been able to tell from the way he was reading the newspaper during the lessons that there was a problem. Maybe he was looking for new clients? But I “could” drive and backed myself. 

The point of any test is not just for you to know what you are doing. It is to give confidence to the instructor that you know what you are doing. To follow the structure and rules and demonstrate the required methodology. The way you pass exams is by knowing what the examiner is looking for. I failed three times in short succession (twice in one day) because of observations. By not knowing what I was supposed to be conspicuously demonstrating. I then got a new instructor to smooth the edges and passed on a fourth occasion. 

I had failed stuff before, but not academic stuff. When I got University, I was left dazed and confused on several occasions. Sometimes for time pressure reasons and the sheer volume of work to get through. I was made to fully realise the limits of my academic ability. My mantra getting through was, “This is not Rocket Science. You are not pushing the boundaries of human thought. Other people have done this before.” 

One idea that I found really problematic coming out of the maths of finance was the oversimplifying risk to volatility. Volatility is quantifiable. It is how much the average observation, differs from the average of the observations. So, if you know the average, how far “on average” will one of the parts be away from that. 

It is appealing if you can count something. If you want to believe in a world where you can clearly say return simplifies down to a number, and risk simplifies to a number. Then you can adjust the return for risk. Take the level of risk appropriate for your appetite, you choose the option at that level with the highest reward. Now, that seems beautifully simple. It is just wrong. You don’t get paid for taking risks. You get paid for value-added. You don’t get paid for complexity, you get paid for solving things. You don’t get paid for not failing. You get paid for getting to a solution. 

You can’t simplify risk into a simple number to fully capture the “cost” of returns. There are various measures for risk, that ask interesting questions. All of them have problems. Volatility is the most commonly used, as a measure of noise. How different the average outcome is, from the average outcome. 

If volatility is zero, there is no movement from the average. If sometimes it is higher, and sometimes it is lower, you are measuring the absolute difference from the average (whether below or above is ignored). If results are “normal”, you can get an idea of what the chance of an outcome being in a given range is. 

Another measure of risk is the probability of ruin. What is the chance that you are not going to be able to play the game anymore? The most important thing in most games is staying alive. Value is created over the long term and compounds. Survival is essential. You always need to know that you are going to be at least 5% okay, so that you can rebuild. Always have the capacity to regenerate, even in a huge disaster. Hold something back. Something that allows you to have a deep sense of security. 

Volatility, based on the past, can be zero right up till a point of ruin. There is no such thing as risk-free. 

Nassim Taleb has written about Risk in a very accessible way. His books include “Fooled by Randomness”, “The Black Swan”, and “Anti-Fragility”. He writes about risk and decision-making. In particular, he looks at tail risk. The extreme events that have never happened before, but will have a dramatic impact. Events that fundamentally change everything. If you only look at what has happened, you assume that things are fairly controlled. That the world is like the spinning of a coin, or the roll of the dice, with varied but fixed outcomes. But it is more complicated than that. 

Real risk is not normal. It has fat tails, so there are more outliers (unusual observations), than would normally be expected. That is on both the upside and the downside. When normal changes, it can change dramatically. When you think through risk, you need to ask, “What makes this go to zero?”. You need to know what will destroy you, and you need to protect for those risks. 

Then you need to position yourself to be available for the positive surprises. Why could this go really well? You do not know that it is going to go really well. But you need to open yourself up to that possibility. 

Risk can't be studied purely by looking at history, even though history matters. Looking back far enough, there are lots of examples of extreme events. High impact, low probability events. Numbers we use for risk analysis make better questions than answers, because they never include the full picture. 

A great book to read to give you a little bit of humility is the story of Long-Term Capital Management, titled “When Genius Fails”. It is an important book to read. Thinking in “distributions” (a range of possibility) rather than simple numbers is vital. 

Howard Marks implores that we, always remember the six-foot man who drowned in a river that was five-foot deep on average. It is not just the average that matters. The statistical term is moments. You have to think in moments. How the range of possibility is made up. That includes thinking about tail risk, and what isn’t in the numbers (yet). 

In scenario testing, you need to plan for what could happen, not just a single path. In the same way as looking at what did happen is not enough. What could have happened? You need to plan for your plan not covering everything. With hindsight, we think we understand the world. We think the lessons we learn through mistakes mean, “if I had done it this way, this is how it would have played out.” 

In reality, if you had the chance again, everything would be completely different. I played a lot of poker when I was at university and the early stages of work. Poker has a thing called “Rabbit Hunting”. When someone makes the decision to fold, but they ask the dealer to show what the next card “would have been”. It is irrelevant. If it is truly random, you didn’t know the rabbit when you folded. All the cards still in the deck, that you haven’t seen already, could be that card. Your decision has to be made in the light of uncertainty. 

The world we are in is not a single safe path. There are multiple ways things can play out. You need to be able to take account of all those paths, including in how you judge yourself. Don’t judge yourself purely on how things played out. How they could have played out is just as important a part of the learning process. A decision can still be a bad decision, even if the result was good. Which is not the way that we tend to think. 

Success carries far less information, and far more danger, than failure. Broad Framing (see “Thinking Fast and Slow") is the practice of thinking of decisions in the context of other decisions. Rather than the specific (uncontrollable) outcome of any one decision, what you are really trying to refine is the underlying process of decision-making. How do you make decisions? 

In terms of Narrative Therapy, you are reflecting on how your scripts work. What are your cornerstone events? What are your drivers? What are the ways that you think that often sit underneath your conscious thinking? In this particular situation, given your history, and the way that you think about things, how are you likely to respond? That is what you really want to do the work on. Constantly owning, and being conscious of your underlying scripts. The stuff we are normally not even aware of. And it is really complicated. We are not necessarily going to be able to understand everything. 

We can get better at observing ourselves and our repeated behaviours. In the study of machine learning, they started to see that you can simplify quite complex decisions down to a string of ones and zeros. The computer is not sentient. It has just learned through multiple repetitions of trial and error, with adjustments. Feedback loops added to complicated processes. It does not understand its own behaviour. Given the ones and zeroes, you can’t extract the knowledge they contain. You can only apply it and see what happens. 

We are sentient, but even we do not understand ourselves completely. And we have to accept that we can not understand ourselves fullly. A lot of our behaviour carries deep knowledge that we can try to interrogate but we might not be able to come to the bottom of. We can constantly be on the path of understanding ourselves through self-awareness, self-search, and self-reflection. That includes recognition of limits, and creating an environment that can cope with lack of understanding and regularly being wrong. That can cope with lack of control. 

It is important to practice the ability to detach. Not all the time. We also have to relax into and accept the way we are, but then build capacity for periods of reflection. Where you can look back and see, “This is a game. I am an avatar. What did I do?”. 

It can be quite useful, for example, in work situations where you might have a boss that has treated you really badly. I can remember watching Game of Thrones during one of my periods of work that was really frustrating. I remember walking on my commute with one of those ear-worms of something that is bothering me. One of those ones where it just seems like there is no way out. But if you are able to step back and see yourself as a character in the story, you can see that it is not you. It is a situation that the character in the story is in. This provides a sliver of separation. That can offer a tiny gap of calm. Perhaps even some humour. This bit of the story will pass. Pages turn. Chapters end. Characters evolve. 

Public Speaking is a great opportunity to practice detachment. Where people become confident is when they are no longer thinking of the audience as judging them. When they are passionate about the subject matter and that passion shows. The listener is thinking about the ideas and the person delivering the sparks almost fades away. Their thoughts are being triggered about things they care about. 

Seth Godin points out that the audience may even be shooting off at tangents where they are being fired up about their own ideas. You don’t live in their heads but what you are sharing helps them connect dots that light up their creativity. Where your words spread in ways beyond your control. It ceases to be about you. They walk away from the talk excited about what they are going to do. 

A lot of anxiety comes from judging ourselves and others. Weighing and measuring. Separating people into good enough and not good enough. Are they going to choose me? Are they going to kick me out? Am I going to fail? These negative niggles are what prevent us from honest reflection because they lack fundamental commitment. Feedback cycles only work with deep underlying security. Deep knowledge that not only is it okay to make mistakes, but that that is the way we learn. You are okay. You are enough. 

We see based on the experiences we have had. We build an interpretation of the world. We filter the noise and interact with it as best we can. Which makes a feedback cycle essential. We can not help but constantly make mistakes unless we either don’t do anything, or don’t venture very far from what we know we can hold onto. 

Boldness is built on nurtured insecurities. Boldness is built on a capacity to not only confirm what you already know. With security and a feedback loop, we can act in micro-ambitious ways. Have a go. See what happens. 

If you have confidence that you have the capacity to unwind mistakes, depending on the unintended consequences, you can be more adventurous. If you are wrapped in fear, you will seek perfection that doesn’t exist, before you act. You will seek the correct way. If you accept that your way is just an interpretation, you can move. Embrace a sense of wildness, and diversity of attempts in which beauty exists. Where we can be open to the chaos of noise, silent periods, bright colours, dull colours, contrast, light, dark, and in all of that find the bits that resonate with us. 

Consider the sheer volume of life that comes out of a jungle or a rain forest, rather than a mono-culture farm. Where there are rows and rows of green, but it is dead. Diversity and imperfection adds life cycles that cope. That reinvest and reinvent and relearn. Changing form like the water cycle. 

Max Planck talks about science progressing one funeral at a time. Specific solutions running their course is a feature, not a flaw. If you want to be part of the journey, you have to hold on to specific containers lightly. Thriving involves not being too deeply connected to a solution that can’t accommodate change. Risk is proof of life. You can’t remove risk any more than you can remove a pumping heart. 

You can manage risk... reduce it, mitigate it, transfer it, allow for it. Risk is the fact that we live in this chaotic place. This beautifully chaotic place. 

A lot of financial planning is about determining someone’s risk appetite. Which is why generic financial plans aren’t helpful, because when you sit down with a financial planner the first topic of conversation is not about the solution. It is about you. The most important part of a financial plan is the ongoing conversation. Financial planning is much less about number crunching and much more about understanding. A planner is more therapist than mathematician. Like a good therapist, the crucial factor is rapport. That you have a connection and that you respect them. But most of the work in therapy is done by you. 

There are some basic rules and structures (like country-specific tax laws, and company-specific product processes) they will know, but in most cases the financial planners have administration teams that help them with that. They will have some areas of knowledge that you don’t have, and act like a teacher. Their main job is the conversation. More them understanding you, and you better understanding yourself. Understanding the way you see and respond to the world and setting up an (adjustable) plan that you can sustain. That you can sustain through various risks. Allowing you to build the capital to absorb and feed off uncertainty, and the containers to create and hold the things you value. 

Insurance works on the “law of large numbers”. Unlikely events with big consequences are spread out over large groups. A small, certain, premium that can be afforded instead of a small, uncertain, chance of ruin. You can self-insure for a lot of events if you have enough capital that it won’t result in your ruin. 

I built my Engine the traditional way. With a salary (from a job) that was bigger than my expenses. When I started, I took out life, earning ability, and severe illness cover. The world is designed around us living hand-to-mouth with our salaries defining our capacity to take and absorb risk. To snap that connection, you need a gap. Then that gap needs to be invested, and what it earns reinvested, until your Engine can be working and earning what you need to spend. It is only with a working engine that your life choices can be gradually freed from the constraints of money-making. 

Good ideas that are not good business ideas are still worth doing. They need to be powered by good business ideas. Merit/worth/value (a good idea) is not sufficient. At least not in the beginning. With planning, you can increase your ability to be the one who decides what has value, and what you do with your time. 

Building an engine (Capital which can work on your behalf) creates the capacity to stop focusing on yourself as an individual. We all have to eat. Many of us have dependents who rely on us financially. Which unfortunately means we can be seen as productive assets. Valued for the money that consumes the majority of our time. 

A few get the perfect combination of “what you are good at, what people want, and what you love”. Applying all three filters cuts out a lot of activity. Things you are good at and love, that don’t pay? Things people want, and you love, but you aren’t “good” at? People can get stuck doing things that people want and that they are good at, but they don’t love. 

Many people can’t pick and choose. They take the opportunities presented, and are too busy being a productive asset and meeting obligations to have capacity to breathe and change path. And life passes them by. 

If you want to stop seeing yourself as a productive asset, you need to build an engine that replaces your need to earn money. If you need to earn money (as most people do), there will be real-world constraints of supply and demand that form the boxes in which we are paid. The hold of those constraints gets released if you can gradually create breathing space. 

My dream when I “stopped working” in 2014 was not to do nothing. I just wanted to not have to think about how what I would do would make money. I also did not like my fate being in other people’s hands. In a pure meritocracy, everyone would line up on a theoretical starting line and the gun would go. In reality, there are plenty of gatekeepers to opportunity. There is not a path you choose and then knuckle down and crack on. So washing your hands of that rubbish, and saying “I am done” had incredible appeal. Front loading the effort, then constraining expenses going forward. 

The problem with that idea is I do see myself as part of others. It does not help if I am not stressed, if others are stressed. Like the scene in Forrest Gump where he runs back into the forest (with one r) to rescue people. The idea of financial independence is an illusion. I celebrated stopping working for money as “Independence Days”, but the problem is we aren’t independent. We are interdependent. 

So even though I talk of financial security and stilling the waves of money anxiety, the reality is it is a process of practice. The struggle to still the waves will continue. Part of stilling is acceptance and perception. Stillness where you are, not where you are aiming for. Stillness within the chaos, not after the chaos. With lightly held detachment, you still care deeply and are involved, but you carry the sense that “this too will pass”. A single event/project/outcome does not define you. 

You are making a contribution to something that exists outside you. There can come a point where you can detach completely. A form of “earned selfishness”. Handing over when your individual part of the story is over and you are able to extract yourself. That is a very yogic approach. The yogis talk of life stages called ashramas. The four ashramas are: Brahmacharya (student), Grihastha (householder), Vanaprastha (retired) and Sannyasa (renunciate). At the end, you are connecting more deeply with the permanent part of who we are, when your temporary role has run its course. 

Detachment still allows you to be ambitious, in a micro-ambitious way. Small achieveable goals that add up. Capacity for small projects that you can wrap your head around. That is why we break things down into stories and categories that connect to how we understand. Little problems we can fix and move on to the next little problem. The more nimble you are, the more able you are. To adapt and adjust and accommodate the new problems and information that come in. 

 Even if you are micro-ambitious, you want to be able to keep momentum in the stuff you do. To be building on what you have done before. Constantly taking iterative steps. Trial and error. Learning, unlearning, relearning. We don’t know how the world and our path is going to play out. The information is not there. It is not that there is stuff you don’t know or that someone else knows and they need to tell you. 

You get to the point where you realise we are all experiencing the world in a different way. That is great. That is something to celebrate. It is okay. To empower others, we don’t have to go out and convince everyone to see the world in the way that we do. We do not have the capacity to understand the world. It is too complex. 

We don’t even experience the whole world. We experience a sliver of it. We get different information through touch, sight, hearing, smell and taste. It is fun to imagine yourself as tiny or huge, and how the laws of physics would change. Not in their essence, but in how they relate to you... and how you experience and interpret the beautiful chaos. 

If you were incredibly small, and you came up to a little drop of water, it would be a huge bubble. We were about three foot tall when we were two years old. We were surrounded by people bigger than us. I am six feet tall now. I like imagining being surrounded by twelve-foot adults running around protecting us. I did my first ski lesson on the holiday my now wife proposed to me. I saw little kids being picked up by the adults as they were about to go into a snowbank. Swooping to the rescue. When I was about to go into the snowbank, no twelve-foot adult came swooping in. 

Once we become adults, we build in our own protections and ways of making sure consequences are not too grave. We carry on. We build our own set of congnitive biases that help us relax. Biases help us make decisions quickly so we don’t have to think of every snowbank. We can just ski. That is what mastery is all about. When you trust your capacity to engage with the world and get to a level that is intuitive, the anxiety falls away. We carry on. 

Through reflection we can think about what short cuts we put in place to make our decisions. We can not avoid short cuts. Short cuts allow us to relax and act. Reflection is hard, slow, and taxing. We do not always want to be reflecting. Reflection allows us to embody our decision-making. You don’t have to think about how to walk. This means walking can be a small part of much more complex actions. 

If you get hurt and need rehabilitation, then you do need to think about walking. Slowly rebuilding to the point where it is automatic again. Acting freely. Acting intuitively. Magnus Carlsen at his best, plays chess like Roger Federer at his best. Trusting their bodies. Trusting their decisions. It seems magical and is beautiful to watch. Yogis call this Siddhis. When mastery seems supernatural. 

It is dangerous to be that brilliant, because the ego lurks. In the sense that you are godlike and above anyone else and in control... which is an invitation for a fall. The real mastery comes with cycles of lightly held, deeply applied, reflection. Part of risk management is creating limits. Self-imposed limits. 

Investment managers will disclose their investment restrictions. The things they do, and the things they don’t do. Warren Buffett calls this the “Circle of Competence”. We have a nasty societal habit of thinking that a smart person can do anything. That when someone has proved themself in one area, we should take their opinion seriously in areas far removed from that because of the Halo effect. Creating limits helps you create little containers for your exploration. 

I am a creature of habit. I am at my most productive when I have made up some rules. Often very arbitrary rules. When I was studying, I would take a very structured approach to learning. I would do 50-minute study sessions, then 10-minute breaks. I would have budgeted total time required, time available, and allocated by priority to the various subjects. I would record my actual learning, relative to the plan. Allowing for disruption, and breaks. These rules were self-imposed. I could, and did break them. No one else was making me do it. The rules provided a structure that worked for me. 

I was also glad to eventually put that kind of structure behind me. It worked for a period, and then that period ended. “Everything in moderation, including moderation.”  

Freedom is not the absence of rules. The biggest defenders of liberty will also be the strongest advocates for rule of law. Rules are just agreements. Not devine in nature, but between people. You can make agreements with yourself. 

You can also ensure that you do not become too fixated on the rules that they are not serving the people who agreed to them. Anything without the capacity to change has increased capacity to break. 

A university friend teased me because when we were in study-weeks I would arrange to meet him to watch a movie in a break. I would go to the Common Room to watch the movie, and he would be late, and there wouldn’t be time for the movie. I would be starting my next study session. He thought I was ridiculous. He was probably right. But that was the stage I was in. My rules likely made relationships and friendships more difficult because my structure had consequences for others. It is difficult to create agreements that work for everyone in every situation. 

Still, we must create little bubbles for stuff that is important. Pockets of focus. Pockets of made-up limits. The vast majority of people, even those earning a lot of money, live hand-to-mouth. One way to view meritocracy is that it shifts capital to where it is working the hardest. Another way to view meritocracy is that people who are "better", deserve to live better lives. That how much you spend should be in line with how much value you add to society. For that to be “true”, people need to spend what they earn, and be paid what they are worth. 

That is not how capital, money, or price works. One of the challenges of building capital is that there are always emergencies. There are always events that can stop you and set you back to zero and hand-to-mouth. 

In Australia, they have famously changed national saving habits and built huge superannuation funds. One of the philosophical questions is whether people should be able to access their retirement savings in emergencies. For proponents of Universal Basic Income, a key question stands around whether lenders should have a claim over those payments. Can you borrow against that guaranteed stream of money? 

In the early stages of building capital, the waves of life can destroy any capacity to protect, cultivate, and invest in merit. It is hard to grow capital when it is being harassed. It is hard to see each other when we are living hand-to-mouth. Building capacity for endurance and resilience requires space. One of the reasons it is hard to start saving and investing is because you first need to be able to handle the basic noise. You cannot build if there is nothing extra to build from. 

The concept of extra can even trigger people as insulting. One of the biggest pushbacks I get as a campaigner for savings and investment is that for the vast majority of people, this seems ridiculous. 

When I start saying you need self-restraint, and to spend less than your income. The trade-offs people must make are often hard. “Nothing kills an activist like a mortgage and school fees”. Life starts living people, rather than people living life. Responsibilities make people much more conservative because they have obligations. There is less capacity for flexibility because people have made commitments that are important to them. 

Advice is usually autobiographical, because it is heavily dependent on the story of the person giving it and where they came from. These questions do not have easy answers, but how we create space is a beautiful question. 

 We do not all have the same skills and knowledge. We do not all have the same barriers to entry. We have different opportunities. We have different sources of funding. We are consuming resources unsustainably, yet the average global GDP is only about $11,500 per person. Can you live on $11,500 a year and still create space to save? If you are earning more than that, can you reduce your consumption to that level? Yet, there is a whole swathe of the world’s population living in poverty. 

How do we raise people out of poverty, when we can’t all consume the amount that is being consumed by those who are consuming too much? How do we incentivize if consuming more is not an option? How do you get someone out of bed in the morning, if you are asking them to have a worse day than yesterday? Every day? These are difficult questions which require some fundamental reframing of how we make our decisions. 

“Stubborn Attachments” by Tyler Cowen talks about some of the problems of financial decision-making across time. How do we balance actions and long-term consequences in guiding our choices? Discounting cashflows is one way to take into account the “Time Value” of money. A Dollar today is worth more than a Dollar in 5 years' time. Making decisions based on discounted cash flows ends up almost ignoring 15–20-year time frames. The underlying assumption is you can reinvest at the end of the period. 

I take the essence of his argument as a focus on Maximum Sustainable Return. Sustainability is key. You need endurance to make sure you are in it for the long run. To extend what you are doing to the next generation, and the generation after that. To adapt your thinking from 5-year plans to 1,000-year plans. Consequences beyond "you". Where BIG interventions fizzle, but small sustainable actions have big long-term effects. 

Epiphanies, vanity projects, and conspicuous victories are much less impactful than small sustainable adjustments. Most people overestimate what they can achieve in a year and underestimate what they can achieve in ten years.” (Amara’s Law). 

Time is the most powerful investment force. Your ambition impacts your time perspective. If you think in terms of time value of money, high returns discount the future a lot. The higher the return available to you now, the more valuable today’s Dollar is relative to the future Dollar. If you start aiming for 15-20% returns and you are not committed to the investment because your underlying assumption is that you are just a temporary holder, that is going to fundamentally impact your choices. 

The “Rule of 70” is a short cut to work out the doubling (or halving) time of an investment. 20% returns means doubling money roughly every 3.5 years (70 divided by 20). 10% would double money in roughly 7 years (70 divided by 10). Being able to get 20% returns would mean your effective “time caring” of future dollars shrinks. 

Proper consideration of risk requires commitment. What if there are no escape hatches? What if future dollars count the same as today’s dollars? What if you must do the work to fix things? 

There are consequences to the numbers we use. Yogis will argue it is only possible to think of one thing at a time. Multi-tasking is what the body does. The mind can hold one thing. It might jump around a lot, but it can’t be focused on more than one thing at a time. Which is why meditation is often the practice of thinking about your breathing. Breathing is a safe point to refocus on. 

If you simplify everything down to a simple number for return, and a simple number for risk, you are going to make some poor decisions that ignore long term consequences. If you make the underlying assumption that opportunities to recycle your high return decisions into high returning alternatives is going to remain a possibility. 

If what you are consuming is less than what you are creating, then that is sustainable. Then you can do it forever. If you aren’t considering the unintended consequences of your choices, and what lies outside the numbers, and outside your plan, then you are going to run out of breath at some point. 

Calm and clear decision making starts with managing expectations. If your desire for returns is too high, you open yourself to a new world of dangerous projections. Visions of alternative lives and problems solved and trouble-free existence. Visions of replicating the lives of outliers who seem to orbit different realities. The numbers get ridiculous quickly. A good day, month, or year is not put in context. It gets “extrapolated” with a line, a ruler, an a poke in our vulnerable desires. 

That is why Ponzi Schemes work. They are not sustainable. The numbers don’t work. They convince new people to join, and the the first exchange of money is from those joining the scheme. Joiners are promised a multiple of the money they give. The money does not work. Nothing is made. It sounds exiciting. It can even be wrapped in other clothes that make it seem caring/kind/not-about-the-money. No one asks “how does this end?” or “why does this make money?”. The new money comes from recruits, and recruits run out. Money is made by doing the work. Understand the work. 

Stilling the waves is not about the waves disappearing. It is about having comfort with your point of focus. Reflecting on the compounding consequences of the habits that you are embodying and relaxing into. The patterns. The limits. The impacts. Looking beyond and beneath the numbers to what the fundamentals are. What are the priorities? What are the tradeoffs? What if you are wrong? Is there space for alternative views? It is a different way of looking at risk. 

You don’t get paid for taking risk. You don’t avoid risk by settling for not changing. Risk is simply the fact that life can head off in multiple directions and we don’t and can’t know everything. Managing risk starts with accepting complexity, ambiguity, and randomness and building habits that build on what matters to you. 

The waves can continue, but you will be still. You will create from where you are.

Sunday, August 22, 2021

Chapter 3 - Choosing a Path

Financial Yoga - Stilling the Waves of Money Anxiety
Chapter 3 - Choosing a Path

You have to choose a path. We are exposed to a number of lotteries that determine our starting point. That is something we have no choice but to accept. It is a strength. It doesn't feel like it because it feels like there should be a level of fairness. We should all have the same options. 


I like the idea of alternate histories. We keep having to make choices. That is part of autonomy. The reality is that every choice you make, opens a new set of options, and closes down a different set of options. Whenever things go badly, one of the philosophies I have tried to develop to do something awesome that would not have been possible if that thing had not gone wrong. To change the story around that event. 

The idea of “Fortunate Misfortune” (See 10 Moral Paradoxes by Saul Smilansky). It is not that you start looking on the horrible moment with affection, but you stop wishing it away. It becomes a part of a positive arch in your story. 

“The Man in the High Castle” looks at what how the world would have been like if the Second World War turned out differently. If Germany and Japan had conquered America and the rest of Europe. Even that kind of scenario (where we have a clear historical story of good winning out over evil), there were still moments of joy that happened in that alternate universe, that wouldn't have happened otherwise. 

Part of autonomy and consent is that decisions have consequences. Choices and events open up, and close down, histories and futures. Making peace with this idea that we have different options is a challenge. With an intricate web of ripple effects. What we do matters. To us and to others. 

I do not believe in pure equality. That is not autonomy. It would strip the world of its complexity, ambiguity, and randomness. If everyone had exactly the same experience, we would be controlled. It feels like that would be fair. But it would restrict us. Pure equality would restrict us. Like the monoculture of a Palm Oil Plantation versus the rich biodiversity of a Rain Forest. One may be green, but the life disappears. 

Daniel Dennett’s book “Darwin's Dangerous Idea” reframed the concept of evolution in a way that I had not understood before. I always had the sense that it was important to have some driving sense of progress. We want some knowledge of how things are going to play out. That is why we love this idea of cause and effect. Then we can control what is going to happen. Letting go of that control is very difficult. That is Darwin's dangerous idea. 

It talks about the Red Queen, in Alice in Wonderland. Where she has to run as fast as she can just to stay in the same place. We have to step back and start looking at our idea of progress. You still want to be progressing. You do not want to be giving up. But at the same time, you want to change what that looks like. The story of evolution and survival of the fittest gets added afterwards. It seems like it makes much more sense than it really did. The fittest are only the fittest because the world played out in that particular way. If something else had happened, everything would be different. 



We think if only we could go back in time and give ourselves advice, how things would change? But the whole world would change. The Butterfly Effect would mean that everything would be different. If I could go back in time, I probably would not do anything but observe. Acceptance of our decisions. They do not matter, and yet they are the only thing that matters. Free will. We make decisions. 

We want to have the sense that we are the one making the decisions. That we want to be where we are. It is less about control and more about it consent. Within autonomy, you are moving willingly. With strength, flexibility and control that feels right. To do that, you need to not feel like you have been thrown around by the waves. You need to feel that you are conscious of the options. 

Even if you know that going down one path means you can not go down another path. Even if sometimes there is no choice. There is only one path to take, because of other decisions that you have made. Because you made a previous decision, there is no choice on this point. Getting a feeling of those decisions in the context of the other decisions that you make. 

Daniel Kahneman talks about broad framing in “Thinking Fast and Slow”. Not making any one decision so important that it feels like it is going to define your life. You want to reduce the size of the decisions. 

Tim Minchin talks about micro-ambition. You want these tiny bits of ambition to connect. What you've been done before holding hands with what you are doing next. So there is a sense of building. Even without knowledge of the future, perhaps because of its absence, you can build deep complexity. Insisting on a completely controlled environment and future is limiting. 

Rewilding and sustainability both require the release of control. Deep acceptance. How do you reconcile growth and growing money and profits with the natural environment? When we get to a point where we need to live within constraints? I do not buy into abundance philosophy. We do live in a world with constraints. If we do not recognise the constraints, there are real consequences. 

David Attenborough points out that we live in a world where a species only thrives, if everything around it thrives. That does not mean there isn’t death and pain. Nature can harsh in ways we don’t understand. But biodiversity copes with this harshness far better than control. When there are multiple responses. When we are not doing all the same thing. One of the ways that money is made is scaling up by doing the same tasks repeatedly. What that can result in is this is mono-culture. Which is dangerous. 

David Attenborough's witness statement shows aerial pictures of oil palm plantations where it looks green, but there is no life. It is just one decision laid out. That is dangerous. When you come to free will, there are levels of consciousness. Not everyone wants to be making decisions all the time. It feels good to nail a process so well that you are flowing. Complex decision-making is often far from flowing. 

Some people are more than happy just to do what they are told. That is okay. I have a friend who loves being micromanaged. It means he can just he can be super productive because he knows what to do. And if he doesn't know what to do, someone will tell him. He just gets on with it. 

I hate being micromanaged. I hate someone telling me what to do. I don't like hierarchy at all. I have always had a chip on my shoulder about hierarchy. To the point where it has resulted in me being arrogant/childish. Whether it is growing up in Apartheid, or being the youngest of three brothers, I have the common South African trait of a healthy disrespect for authority. I don't, by default, necessarily respect presumed authority. I don’t, by default, do what I am told. Sometimes in quite childish ways. 

Like if someone tells me that it is my decision, then I will make a decision. And if they suggest that I do something else, and I don't agree with them, I still want to do it my way. Unless they want to say it is not my decision. If they say that, I'll do it their way. Most people can read between the lines and go, “Well, actually, they want to tell me that it is my decision, but it is not really my decision. I just need to suck it up and play the game.” I'm not very good at that. I like clarity of decision-making processes. I like honesty about where the accountability and authority lie. I object to the delegation of responsibility without authority. I like it when decision makers have dirt under their fingertips from sharing the load. 



But everyone is different. A lot of people don’t have the baggage I do. Doing as you are told often makes life simpler. You need to choose the level of consciousness that you want to live at. There is simplicity in just accepting the rules and doing what you're told. Like plugging in your destination on GPS versus studying the map in advance. There are definitely places I have driven multiple times that I would not be able to get to without help, because I have chosen to switch that bit of thinking off. There is simplicity in accepting your role and the pre-laid path from the menu you were given. 

That is fine if you enjoy what you have been given on the menu. It is less confusing. There are less options. You don’t have to think about it. You can focus on something else. When we decide that something is important, that is us projecting that it is important to us. For me, autonomy and consent are important. That makes it difficult, because you have to unpack everything and that is messy. That mess is a choice, and choices have consequences. 

The series Westworld explores how others might have a better understanding of you than yourself. In snippits. There is a chance, if we aren’t paying attention, that other people might see what we can’t see if they are detached and observant. In “Sapiens” and “Homo Deus”, Yuval Harari questions how much we are going to be willing to work with artificial intelligence and things that watch us. Virginia Postrel talks about tacit knowledge in “The Future and Its Enemies”. Stuff we understand without knowing we understand. 

That knowledge is the driving force behind Adam Smith’s invisible hand. You don't need central decision-makers making complex decisions. You want to drive choice down to where the knowledge lies. We don't necessarily understand ourselves, but we are still the best place to make our decisions. Because attention doesn’t scale. The chance that someone understands us better than we understand ourselves relies on deep listening and care. If you have local markets with ultra-local decision-making, you empower people to make the decisions. 

Information feeds up through the paths that people choose. Through the impact of their actions. The rippling consequences of their meaning creation. And it doesn't necessarily matter if we don't understand this in watered down averages and stereotypes. It does matter to the intimate relationships that wrestle with understanding. 

What do you do if autonomy is really important to you, but you find something or someone else makes better decisions than you do? 

Imagine you had an app on your phone that was similar to GPS and Google Maps, but for life choices. In the beginning, I certainly didn’t trust GPS. When it first came out, it wasn’t great. I was working in a job where I had to visit various financial advisors in Joburg. I was a Durban boy, not a Joburger, so I had to use maps. GPS would tell me “you have reached your destination”, and I would be in the middle of the highway. I knew enough to know my destination, even if the path was cloudy. I had enough of a sense of my direction to know, “I am pretty sure this isn’t the right turnoff”. I would start by saying, “trust the GPS”, but I would end up in the wrong place. 

But gradually it got better, and gradually I started feeling comfortable letting it make decisions for me. Letting me focus on other things. Autonomy suggests individual decision-making. If it is abstract (controlled and theoretical), it works very well. In reality, our decisions impact each other in complex, ambiguous, and random ways. How do you handle joint decisions when a path is shared? 

Tom-Toms are one form of GPS. My wife’s name is Gemma John. We were once driving through an area in Fulham across the river from where I lived in Putney. The GPS was telling us to go one way but Gem was pretty sure we should go another way. So I turned off the Tom-Tom and listened to the Gemma John. Even in an area I knew reasonably well, I had got to the point where I had to decide whether the GPS was doing a better job than me (when in doubt), and whether to trust it or not. At what point do you delegate your decision-making when you are in an area you do not understand? Or when someone (or something) can make better decisions than you, even if you believe you have a decent understanding? To outsource your decision-making, you need to develop trust. 

I like to believe in a world where we can have open conversations. The reality is that you can’t just decide to be honest, and vomit truth on someone. Truth needs unpacking. Trust is built. Both need time. It is dangerous to outsource decision-making, in part because we attach responsibility to the decision-maker. We attach identity to the decision-maker. We attach respect and blame. To outsource decisions, you need trust and confidence. Trust that the other decision-maker has your best interests at heart. Confidence that they have the competence to do what it is that they claim they will do. 

The decision about who to hand over responsibility to, is as important as the actual skill and knowledge required to make the relevant choice. Evaluating decision-makers is a skill in and of itself. Badly evaluating decision-makers allows you to pass on responsibility, and have a target to pin blame on should things go wrong. It does not solve the problem. 


Developing cars that can drive autonomously requires multiple sources of awareness. When we drive, we somehow manage with one set of eyes and ears. We have a brutal internal system of awareness, triage, focus, and context switching. Yogis would argue it is only possible to focus on one thing at a time. 

The challenge is just that we are wired to take on an incredibly complex world. This means once a habit is engrained, we embody the knowledge. We let it go and move on. This means we are not always aware of ourselves. We often make decisions in isolation. Even when something is important to us, it isn’t necessarily present in our head. We might forget what we enjoy. We might forget what is important to us. We focus on what is in front of us and how we feel at that moment. When we are making decisions, it is not always in the context of everything that is important to us. This is both a strength and a weakness. 

We can “handle” the chaos that autonomous vehicles are still trying to conquer... plus more. But that handling can sacrifice awareness. Even if we could make purely rational decisions, what would that even mean? Not everything can be counted and quantified. This is the challenge. With pure rationality, there are rules of logic. Rules like prioritising and comparing. Creating relative preference. If I prefer apples to oranges, and I prefer oranges to pears, then I can infer that I prefer apples to pears. If you remember your preferences and they are consistent. 

Our memory is glitchy. Which is useful. It is useful to be able to forget things. To change the story. It is one of the ways we cope. If something is not working for us, we get to rewrite the story. If we could never forget and things were purely factual, that would be a debilitating glitch. So somehow we need to establish how well we want to understand ourselves. 

Do you want to do the work? It is hard to be honest. It is emotionally challenging. You need to build up the necessary skills to self-reflect. It is not simply allowing harsh internal voices. You need to feel that you are on your own team, in the same way as when we work with other people. 

It is worth reading the book, “How to win friends and influence people” by Dale Carnegie. The name sounds terrible. I put off reading it for years because the title seemed repulsively insecure and insincere. I was wrong. There are very valuable principles clearly articulated. One of those key ideas is building on what people say. We want feedback. But we want feedback in a way that we actually believe that the person giving it wants us to move forward. We want to feel like they are being constructive. 

If you are constantly niggling at someone, and tearing them down, what you are not doing, is allowing a Bull Quota. A Bull Quota is when you suspend your disbelief. Allowing a buffer for things that can distract you from the important stuff. That quota can eventually be full, but not allowing it prevents deep listening. Like when you are watching a movie. If you are intent on critiquing each word and pointing out the holes, you won’t be able to enjoy the story. Are you looking for the truth in the story? Are you even looking for something that contributes? Because everything has gaps and holes, as we clumsily try to communicate from one grasp at reality to another. 

Don’t live in the holes. Everything has gaps and holes. That is the key idea behind biodiversity and wilding. We are wild. We are rough on the edges. We don’t know, and we don’t have full insight, and we try, and we make mistakes. It is that imperfection that allows us to drive forward as an active participant in the chaotic change. 

If you want to be someone who decides, you need to build the skill to do the emotional work required for self-reflection. You also need to know yourself and the level that you want to go to. You need resources. You need guides and you need to guide yourself. You need commitment, because if you are going to do the work, you are going to need to do the repair work. No risks or actions can be taken without regular maintenance, repair work, and downtime. 

The five core points of yoga are proper exercise, proper breathing, proper diet, proper relaxation, and proper mental health. We focus on our actions/choices, but the support/foundation that allows you to make choices is just as important. 

I believe we all experience the world as a controlled hallucination. We take in information based on what we already know. Gradually building trust based on an elaborate story we build up to explain the responses we experience to the decisions we make. You can’t live without a story. Your story acts as the framework for what you want to do, and how you want to make decisions. You need to internalise and embody the disciplines you want to use to frame your decisions. 

The way a lot of people discipline themselves with money decisions is running out of money. When there is no money there, you can’t spend it. Which means most of us live hand-to-mouth. You cannot build space for autonomy and consent within your decision-making that way. You will get stuck in a monthly cycle, or a weekly cycle, or whenever the money comes in. You get income dependence, where you get a job, and get paid, and that determines your standard of living. And there is no space. No extra. 

If you want something, you save specifically for it, buy it, and go back to zero. Never actually freeing yourself from the constraint of having nothing in the bank. That becomes your framework. “No decision” can be “the decision”. 

Building wealth is capital allocation. Getting money a job. If everything there is, is spent, there is nothing to put to work. If you are going to build capital, you first need to build buffers that control for the waves that knock you off course. To do that, instead of “nothing left” being the enforcer of discipline, you need to internalise self-discipline so extra is allowed to exist. 

Not extra in the sense of a Scrooge McDuck pool of hoarded coins. Extra in the sense of reinvestment. Extra in the sense of circle of life rain-cycles, where energy is neither consumed nor destroyed, but just changes shape and form. 

It is the story of the Ant and the Grasshopper and Aesop's Fables. The Ant works hard during the Summer and builds up a lot of reserves. And when it gets to Winter where there is nothing to eat, Ant has extra. Grasshopper plays during the Summer, when it is beautiful, and there is plenty, and there is enough to eat. But then when it gets to Winter doesn't have enough. 

If you are going to build capital and buffers... the money is there, but it is not there. Which is quite abstract. The money is working at a job. It is not there to be spent. If you are able to build Capital, you have to internalise discipline. Because you *can* spend Capital. If you stop it working. If you turn it into cash. Then consume it. 

It depends on the story you tell yourself. You can look at money as trees and fruit. You can live off the fruit, but if you start cutting down trees, there is going to come a tipping point where sustainability comes into question. “No Money” will again be the enforcer of discipline. It is analogous to the planet and our natural resources. While we were growing, and while we were living hand-to-mouth, we have not adequately considered the sustainability of our environment. 

You have to think in a long-term fashion. Normal panic is, “I am not going to be okay at the end of the month.” It is a different type of worry you have when you change the way you look at money. You have to realise when “this is not sustainable”. You might have to change your habits even if you are okay for the next three to five years. Because you are not okay... for ever. And that worries you. That is an important worry to have. One that requires a change in the way you act. 


Yoga is stilling the waves of the mind. I think of Financial Yoga as stilling the waves of money anxiety. I don’t see the point of meditation as getting rid of thought/money waves. You aren’t getting rid of the challenges. They are still there. There are important problems we need to grapple with. Which makes it important to worry, in the sense that it is important to think. What you are trying to avoid is those thoughts being given more attention than they should be. 

Being aware of them rather than pretending that they are not there. Acceptance of the waves, without giving them the power to dominate you. You want to think of the future. You want to think of the past. You want to consciously, and selectively, connect the two in the present. To compound what is important to you, and to make different mistakes that cancel each other out. Stillness is not absence. The waves are part of your path, and the aim is to create behaviours that draw energy from them. 

I don’t like being the bad guy. I don’t think most people like that, but I don’t subscribe to the “it doesn’t matter what other people think” philosophy. You can only make purely independent decisions if you are a hermit. If relationships matter to you, then connections and consequences matter. 

Yet there is a balance. Your interests matter too. One behaviour that creates capital is delayed gratification. If you are living purely in the now, then every decision is about the now. You are not building space. You are not building time. You are not building capacity. Because everything is about now. 

There is a story (controversial in its scientific rigour) about putting Marshmallows in front of children. If they can wait for the researcher to return, they get two. The test was meant to evaluate the ability to take charge of your emotions. A powerful life skill. The controversy is over whether this an innate or learnable skill. 

Imposing delayed gratification on others isn’t fun, and building capital is a team sport. We make many of our financial decisions together. Our joint decisions are the key to whether we consume what is created or whether we act as custodians and reinvest. Building space, time, and capacity. The original Marshmallow experiment looked at whether you could predict future success based on the ability to wait for a sugary treat. The skill of delayed gratification. 

More recently, a study controlled for socio-economic factors like parent’s education and early childhood development support. Once that was taken into account, waiting for the marshmallow had almost no predictive power about future success in school or life. Waiting is a core part of wealth creation. 

I do believe it is something you can learn. Something you can build into your habits. Spending has rhythm. Daily, weekly, monthly, yearly. You can pay attention to the things you consume regularly. You can pay attention to unsurprising surprises you can plan for, so they don’t regularly force you to start from scratch. Then, if you have fundamental faith in the future, and your place in it... you can allow the space and time for reinvestment. Where wealth isn’t what you consume or display. Wealth is the systemic structure that supports creativity. 

Part of the story I tell myself about money comes from the micro-world I grew up in. The bubble within a bubble where my parents were the decision-makers. One of the ways I was taught saving was that my parents used to match what I saved. How do you instill the concept of compound interest, and delaying getting something now, so that it can build for later?

Saving and Investing are worth thinking of as different things. You save *for* something. Investing puts money to work (reinvesting rather than consumption). You can then spend some of what the investment earns, and reinvest some. But it is hard enough learning delayed gratification by saving, so... baby steps. 

Compound interest also takes time to kick in. 5% real return would double your money in roughly “rule of 70” 14 years (70 divided by return equals roughly the doubling time). No kid is still a kid if they have to wait that long. The big thing I wanted was a music system. I saved half by starting a sweet business, and my Mom matched what I saved. Where she got the magic “compound interest”, I don’t know. But she managed. She was a bit of a hero. 

One of the joys of being human is we are in it together. When you're mapping out a path, you can look at what other people are doing. This is where social capital kicks in. Being surrounded by people that you share enough in common with to believe their paths are paths open to you. You can see the skills that they need to do what they do. If you know them well enough, you can ask questions. 

Ideally, you want a holistic sense of the person. To know beyond the stories you attach to the job, or what you have seen on television. What is their actual day-to-day? In practical terms, what does the person do? Every week? On TV, you might see the exciting bits of law, with time-lapses of them spending all night for months in a room with a box of files. If you know someone, you see the journey, and the consequences of the job beyond the conspicuous. Subtle things like knowing their circle of friends and family. Their capacity for interests beyond work. Their health. 

Do they spend lots of time on spreadsheets? Do they write a lot? Do they read a lot? Are they mainly in meetings? What are their frustrations? How is their relationship with colleagues and bosses? What is the politics like? What are the barriers to entry and development? 

There are formal skills that are easy to quantify/articulate and are specific to the jobs that require technical knowledge. For those, you just need to know what they are and do the work. There are other less obvious barriers to entry. It is not just about skills and knowledge (“Merit”). 

It is also about supply and demand. How many people have that ability? Why choose you? If there is an oversupply of people in the area that you are interested in, it is going to be difficult to get those jobs. Not because of you. Because of your choice. Qualitative and subjective filtering processes give lots of wiggle room to those selecting who gets the job. In a world where demand for jobs outweighs the number of jobs on offer, employers become guardians of opportunity. 

The German word for employer is arbeitgeber – work giver. The employer will be faced with similar supply and demand questions one level up. What is the problem they are solving, and how many other employers are solving it? Do they have the Capital needed to solve the problems? Can they solve the problem in a container with barriers to entry? It is not just about you. It is not just about merit. When building wealth, capital and containers matter. 

When the supply of candidates massively outweighs the number of jobs available, work givers have the option of being picky. There is a lot of wiggle room to impose their preferences. In “Thinking Fast and Slow”, Daniel Kahneman talks of how hard it is to convince people that interview processes regularly don’t add value. One tool in the Hubris Factory is to be very selective in hires, and regularly fire people. This gives the illusion of meritocracy. 

It is very difficult to evaluate this process objectively because you have no long-term, objective, information on the people you didn’t pick, or the people you let go. The people doing the selecting/letting go are also normally not subjected to their own criteria. 

One of my favourite German words is Geschmacksfrage – a question of taste. You need to detach from job interviews/opportunities. It is hard, because you know you. The interviewer does not (cannot), but will superficially form an opinion to think they do, and to reinforce their belief in their process. You are not your job. You are also not the jobs you did not get. 

It is horrible not getting the job you want. It is worth remembering you are likely not the only one who did not get it. With so few great jobs, there are normally plenty of candidates for those roles. It would not pay well if we create work-for-work-sake. Just because we want people to have those jobs. There are limits and there are constraints to what is required. 

Beyond a specific role’s requirements, understanding some generic business skills is important. These are the kind of skills that that are going to be with you throughout your life whatever your “source of wealth” is. However you build your wealth, you need financial literacy. Capital helps you make money. Through financing and risk management. Supporting your skills and knowledge. 

Developing an understanding of the containers in which all that happens is equally important. The accounting/law/product that creates the shape and form for what you are doing. Detaching a little to understand the things that are not specifically about you and what you do. You need some awareness around that to have a plan for how you are going to build your freedom, your autonomy, and your ability to make decisions. So that one fragile job/opportunity does not become your defining container. 

Building wealth is not purely about skills and knowledge. There is not a pure-play meritocracy with a completely level playing field. The reality is we all have to eat, and that requires a degree of protection to be able to incentivize investing in skills and knowledge. With 7.7 Billion people on the planet, a pure meritocracy with no barriers would mean almost all of us would have to point out that someone is better than us at what we do. That means building wealth does require some friction. 

Some boundaries. Something to allow you to build an engine and vehicle completely detached from you. That can support you, and your community, without judgement of their merit. To still the waves of financial anxiety, you cannot constantly be weighing and measuring everyone. There has to be some independent commitment. 

That requires a level of self-awareness, seeing what your strengths and weaknesses are, what your community is, who your clients are, and understanding the market you are in. Developing skills that do not define you, but are transferable between different problems. 

I don’t like the question we ask kids, “what are you going to be when you grow up?”. It would be fine if the underlying question wasn’t “how are you going to earn money?”. They are fundamentally different questions. One is existential and the other is a financing problem. Not all ideas are good business ideas. Not all good business ideas are good ideas. Money is made by solving quantifiable problems in containers. 

Who we “are” shouldn’t be confined by such pragmatic constraints. Solving problems relies on flexible skills. Being able to clearly articulate problems. To collect and analyse information, and be able to present solutions. To read and write... both words and numbers. These skills are required whatever the problem is. They do not define you. 

The price of solving problems changes with supply and demand, and is not connected to your value and identity. Price is not value. Salary is not worth. You are not your job. Financing the things that really matter requires capital, skills & knowledge, and containers. But it is what matters to us, that makes us who we are. 

One of the ways we develop conspicuous skills is through exams. Exams are not real life, but they are a blunt way to communicate your skills, so in most cases you just suck it up and write them. I prefer to think of exams as sport, where you practice writing “for the exam”. Knowing the content is a different task to showing up for the demonstration. Think from the perspective of the examiner. What are they looking for? 

I think of my mother as a teacher. Sitting on her bed with piles of marking, tired and keen to get to the end of the slog. As the person writing, you need to make their life easy. Think of the marking schedule. How are you going to be assessed? Unfortunately, exams are not purely about creativity. They are about signals. They are about containers. You are building a box to give the examiner what they want. 

You need to still your inner purist’s romance around the love of creativity and learning. That is a small part of what you are doing when you write exams. Study techniques are important. Summarising information. Identifying the main point and getting to it quickly without filler words and fluff. Practice answering questions in a way that gives the examiner the ability to mark you, so that you are match fit. 

Doing well in exams is not just about knowing the information in a I-can-google-it way. The first time I wrote open-book exams (when you can take the answers in with you!) was when I did a diploma in financial planning. The exams were spread over four days, and while I had prepared, I was not as bullet-proof as I liked to be because I assumed I could look up answers. I got through day one with very little “margin for safety” and a heightened sense of respect. 

Having the books is not sufficient. Knowing you can look, knowing where to look, and knowing, are three very different levels of knowledge. Beyond exams, making money is often about taking complexity and being able to articulate a very clear, instantly recognisable, ask and offer. Delivering a punchy two-mark answer in the 30 seconds allocated. Not spending 5 minutes finding the answer. That is embodied knowledge. 

That demonstrates having engaged with the body of work, so deeply that you know the path to the stuff that matters. Real competitive advantages are open-books. Those with mastery have engaged so deeply they don’t need to hide. The answers are simple, and available, but require you to do the work. 

Until you are the decision-maker, there are lots of people who will be in positions to choose the options that are available to you. Good ideas are not sufficient without financing and a container. Someone must have the money. Someone must own the money vehicle. Until that person is you, you will have to convince people. 

Skills and knowledge will need to be conspicuous. A clear offer. Although there are other paths, one of the tools for conspicuous skill is formal education. Arguably, you are not paying for the education/information (that is largely free now), you are paying for (1) exclusivity (for them to reject other candidates), (2) network (for them to accept other candidates who will become colleagues/friends), and (3) the signal to the person with money who gets to impact your fate. 

You are buying privilege. Beyond the knowledge, exam and study technique become essential. Establishing a habit of breaking down barriers. The process of absorbing information in a limited time, and then performing in an artificially constructed signal factory. 

Tim Urban (waitbutwhy.com) talks of time optimism. It is a euphemism/kind way of referring to being late. Busyness is a form of laziness. If you are time pessimistic, you leave space. You don’t start new tasks if you don’t have the time to give them the necessary container (focused attention). You allow space, to be on time. On time *for* people. As a matter of respect. If you are constantly making people wait for you, you are not going to get many chances. But that does mean, as the time pessimist, you are regularly going to be the one waiting. Because you have created space. That space is partly an acknowledgment that other people’s time is as important as yours. We all get 24 hours a day, rich and poor, powerful and powerless. 

Busyness is often used as a conspicuous signal of importance. We can’t know what people are doing that matters, but being late implies that thing is more important than the person you keep waiting. When you're doing a presentation, “sorry, I put this presentation together at the last moment” is not good enough. It means in a room full of 10-100 people, that you think that your time is worth more than all their time combined. Because it is the one true point of equality, we should not waste other people's time. 

A core skill is being on time, being reliable, and doing what you say you are going to do. With allowance for imperfections. Things come up. Things change. But do not plan to be busy. If you plan to arrive exactly on time without leaving any gaps, you are going to regularly be late. By design. That will carry through to how people working with you view working with you. 

Find others whose paths resonate with yours. There are lots of people who are generous and willing to talk about the challenges that they have had. Listen to their stories. They are not going to be the same as yours. They are going to be giving younger versions of themselves advice. No one can know your context as well as you. But the more stories you listen to, the more capable you are going to be in various new situations. The more able to avoid mistakes other people have made. 

That is where the real juice is. Where we learn the most. Through mistakes. Trial and error. Success is less interesting, because success just means there weren't strong enough obstacles in the way. But we don't know why. Admitting that we don't know why is important. 

Our learning is path-dependent. We know what we know, because of the information that has come up on our path. There is too much complexity for anyone to wrap their head around. Particularly if you do it alone. We live in a controlled hallucination. 


As things are repeated, patterns start making sense. We ignore almost everything, but gradually the stuff that means something to us sticks. It sticks as we add, meaning. Which makes unlearning as important, if not more important, than learning. When new information comes in that challenges embodied knowledge. The kind of stuff that requires proper, messy, patient, unpacking. Impacting your own hallucination requires constantly reevaluating your path. With breaks. Unpacking can be draining, so you need capacity to do the work. 

I call the “adult view” taking another look at what and how you were thinking when you were younger, and being your own mentor. Mentorship works in both directions. We have this idea that adults are higher up the chain, but we are all just big kids. By listening, questioning, and articulating their framework of thinking, the mentor will be refining and developing the story of their own path. Their own way of seeing. Being a good mentor to yourself will help you see more clearly. Listening to younger versions of yourself will help you make better decisions now. 

Seek out mentors. Read stories. See what mistakes others have made. Be curious. Add a pinch of salt. Recognise that you cannot avoid constraints. You can only become more aware of them, dismantle some, and choose others consciously. You are not going to understand everything. That is fine. Every decision you make will close doors and open doors. That is fine. There is a balance between acceptance and constant learning. Returning to your purpose, your values, and self-reflection. Working on your feedback loop. 

Be micro-ambitious. Do stuff. Accept the world, deeply. That does not mean you are not trying to tweak and influence reality. But you need to be able to hold on to what your values are. What are your cornerstones? What is your story? What are your drivers? What are your self-imposed constraints? What are the rules you put in place for yourself to guide your decision-making. Come back to those anchors. 

Have people you trust that can tell you things that are hard to hear. Make sure you support their ability to tell you those things. Construct an environment in which you can thrive. Choosing your path consciously requires regular self-reflection. 

In Yoga, there is a practice called Neti Neti which means “Not this, Not that”. It is an analytical meditation on what you are not. It allows you to create some space between what you are and the tools you use. In the world of money, we use price as a tool. Price is not value. You need to determine what your values are, and what you value. 

You can use price as a communication tool, but it does not have permanence. Similarly, Salary is not Worth. Salary is simply the price of someone’s labour. Supply and demand determine that price. Not some intrinsic respect-commanding, life-defining, ranking of merit. Quite often when people are making good money, they think it means they are valuable. 

It is dangerous to base your self-worth on pay, because supply and demand get disrupted. The barriers to entry command that price fall. The market changes. We create through destruction. You can do something incredibly valuable, but if lots of people can do that too... the price will be low. 

Price is not value. Salary is not worth. You are not your job. The thing you are (currently) doing does not define you. Knowing who you are, is the heart of choosing a path. The practice of Neti Neti (Not this, Not that), is realising that you can’t be something temporary. 

Problems should not be valued in and of themselves, or you are not really trying to solve them. You are making yourself a permanent part of the problem and extracting rent. You only genuinely try solve a problem if you feel a sense of ownership. Then it is worth your while to make your role in the problem redundant. Redundancy becomes something worth celebrating. If you make yourself redundant and there is no commitment to you as a person, then you are let go. They’ll say, “I paid you. It’s fair”, and lose no sleep. 

But that is not the point. Value is created over very long periods of time. Real meritocracy starts with the grunt work of building foundations. If you are building something long-term, there needs to be a deeper commitment. Participation, while you are involved, becomes all about ego and identity. Real wealth is created when you have a significantly more stable self-definition to reinvest in. When you have a path that learns, builds, and creates in a way that is connected to what really matters to you.

Financial Yoga - Stilling the Waves of Money Anxiety