Found Wanting

When you are thinking “I don’t deserve to be at this table”, “I don’t know enough to apply for this job”, or “I am really confused and feel incompetent”... you don’t know how the other people are (also) beating themselves up constantly. 

Even if people do open up, we only get the words they choose, and only in the way we interpret them. We are only exposed to projections. We are only exposed to how those projections land on our internal projections. 

Working on these interpretations is not something that is obvious. Good business ideas are things you can count, and deep work is often not countable. You may need to pragmatically focus on good business ideas to build the internal capacity for work that doesn’t have (obvious) payback. 

I avoided reading “How to win friends and influence people” because the title made me cringe. It seems manipulative. The books surprised me with the well-articulated truth that we are interested in people that are interested in us. 

Truth sits in a feedback loop, as an invited and trusted evolving conversation. 

Feedback is best received when we don’t feel like it is a tool of destruction. When it isn’t a disguise for being “weighed, measured, and found wanting.” When there is a long-term commitment to each other’s well-being. Where there is a foundation of respect and kindness. 

Then feeling incompetent and not enough is the only starting point in every new endeavour, rather than a fearful admission of permanent inadequacy.

Managing Projections

Calm and clear decision-making starts with managing expectations. If your desire for returns is too high, you open yourself to a new world of dangerous projections. Visions of alternative lives, problems solved, and trouble-free existence. Dreams of replicating the lives of outliers who seem to orbit different realities. 

The numbers get ridiculous quickly. A good day, month, year, or even decade, is not put in context. It gets “extrapolated” with blind spots, a ruler, and a poke in our vulnerable desires. 

 That is why Ponzi Schemes attract victims. They are not sustainable. The numbers don’t add up. They convince new people to join, and the first exchange of money is from those joining the scheme. Joiners are promised a multiple of the money they give. 

The money does not work. Nothing is made. It sounds exciting. It can even be wrapped in other clothes that make it seem caring/ community-based/ not-about-the-money. No one asks “how does this end?” or “why does this make money?”. The new money comes from recruits, and recruits run out. 

Money is made by doing the work. Understand the work.

Projecting

Building a Practice

“Restraining of thought waves means analysing your thoughts constantly, it does not mean suppression of thoughts.” Swami Durgananda (commentary on “Yoga Sutras of Patanjali”). Financial Waves can’t simply be ignored. If you don’t learn to control money, it can control you. Through study and patient reflection, you can develop a system that works for you. Letting go of distortions, delusions, and obstacles. Finding a way to go deeper into problems and resolving them. Rather than letting unhelpful money anxiety become the driving force in our lives. Whether the problem is misunderstanding, accepting false perceptions of others, or deep soaked prejudice from the way the world is temporarily (but doesn’t need to be). Build a practice to concentrate on what matters.

Step by Step