Inner Stories

I don't suffer from any debilitating fears or anxieties, and am very lucky to have an awesome support network of friends and family. Many of our fears happen beneath the surface though. We see the performer, not the petrified person throwing up backstage. For many, the idea of public speaking is mortifying. For others, any group of people leaves them feeling overwhelmed, and even just a brief self introduction will induce panic. Ironically, these same people may actually love communicating. They may be able to speak to Royalty, Noble Prize winners, Popes and Chief Executives without breaking stride. Something else is going on.

A lot of what we do isn't calm, calculated and rational. I think that is a good thing. A lot of the best bits of life lie in the emotional side of things. The story. The fears. The release afterwards. The beauty is in the battle. It is still interesting to look at afterwards. The story behind the story. The inner story.

Late last year I went on a climb up Table Mountain on a particularly scary route. Although I did it, I carried the fear monkeys up on my back.  In Vancouver, I walked along the Lion's Gate Bridge and the Capilano Suspension Bridge. Both were clearly very safe, and the views were absolutely spectacular. Again, I did it. But. But. Back on safe ground, my heart rate definitely came down.

Capilano Suspension Bridge - Hold On!

Lions Gate Bridge

Capilano Tree Walk

The fear doesn't come from what will happen, or even the lack of knowledge that I will cope. I will be fine. I know that. There is still a what if that sits with me. That will always sit with me. Poking me in the ribs. Refusing to allow my breath to do its thing. This morning, a friend and I went on a hike up to an old train bridge crossing in Victoria (British Columbia). Even though each step was on very solid wood with gaps of only about 8cm (way to thin to fall through), everyone was incredibly nervously walking along. Most would venture about a third of the way across, if at all, and then come back. I forced myself to walk across the whole thing. 

When you got to the edges, the steps were the same distance apart, but in between there was solid earth. Suddenly the speed of walking increased and the breathing calmed. There is something very powerful about knowing that you will be fine if things go wrong. Even if you really don't think they will go wrong. Even if you know that the support is probably, intellectually, fine.

Track Easy, Track Hard

Track View

Emotional support is huge. I am lucky. I have that. I have a deep network of friends, family and people I care about who will pick me up if I stumble. That lets me walk faster. That lets me breathe deeper.

Our support network is not visible. But is as real. Our mental responses. Our emotional responses. That is why when someone is struggling, it may not make sense to us. That is why there are easy problems and hard problems. Easy problems are solved by the wooden slats that make the railway tracks. Hard problems take the deep networks that come with time, trust, belief, relationships, communities and the stories that we tell ourselves.

100 words

When we answer questions, we have the conclusion in mind. Rather than give it straight away, we lead the questioner. We see the destination, but expect a lot of trust from the listener. We expect a lot of clarity from ourselves. The listener will be hearing based on what they already know. If they don't recognise something or it clashes with what they believe, our answer may arrive at its conclusion without them. A good exercise is to hone answers to 100 words (enough to fit into an elevator ride). The more thought given, the shorter the answer can be.

Permission

You are a Marketer. Everybody is a Marketer.

Despite hating money, I did do a few marketing courses at university, but I can't really remember any significant takeaways. I met some good guys doing projects together but largely thought of marketing as advertising. Coming up with clever(ish) ideas and then funny, sexy, violent or interesting ways to sell them. Through an interest in public speaking and presentations, I came across Garr Reynolds and his Presentation Zen blog. That had a huge impact on my work, and I tried hard to implement many of his awesome ideas to avoid 'death by powerpoint'. One excellent speaker Garr pointed to as an example, who turned out to be a blogger, an author an at heart a marketer was Seth Godin. His bite size daily blog changed the whole way I thought about marketing.

Lots of people see marketing as manipulation. We know we all have to make a living, but it grates that people are sugar coating things to foist stuff on us that if we had full information, we wouldn't want. The idea that we live in a consumer culture which tricks us makes our blood boil. One choice is to ignore all that. To choose to live an authentic life and do the things that matter to you, and not worry about money and marketing and all that soul destroying, life sucking, mind numbing noise.

The irony is that authenticity is at the heart of what makes good marketing. Reading about marketing from Seth Godin will release the artist in you, not the machine. In the past, marketing may have been limited to TV adverts that shouted at a confined audience providing them with commoditised products. Now, you have to 

• Earn permission. (Permission Marketing)
• Do something remarkable. (Purple Cow)
• Tell a story that matters. (All Marketers Tell Stories)
• Find people that it matters to. (Tribes)
• Give them something that matters, to you & to them - to create Art (Linchpin)

Godin's idea of marketing is that the interaction with you will be missed if it doesn't happen. Unlike a TV advert which interrupts and irritates you, permission marketing involves doing something that adds conspicuous value in a very authentic way. The best way to earn this permission is to be genuine. To do something that puts a spark in your eye, and find people who will feed off that flame.

It's exciting stuff, and certainly changed my idea of business. Business at its heart is problem solving. Marketing is part of how those problems are solved. If something matters to you, you are a marketer.

 

A Full Four Weeks

The UK has fairly generous annual leave allowances at 25 days. Sweden leads the list at 33 and in the US the average is just 12. Despite not being that much, a lot of people I knew in the business world used to tend towards the US number and stockpile leave. If you work in a strategic job, you not being there doesn't stop work going on. You can't press pause. So when you are about to go on leave, you have to put in extra work, and when you return the initial period back is manic. So instead of a genuine period of relaxation, holidays can end up being more stressful. So stockpiling becomes an option. Some companies have started 'use it or lose it' policies to stop this.

I was guilty of stockpiling too. A few years back I broke the piggy bank and took a full 4 weeks in one go in order to do a Yoga Teacher Training course. I did it over Christmas when there were lots of public holidays and work tends to take a dip. Still, such a long period of leave raises eyebrows and so people don't want to do it. It was magic. Being out of contact with people meant the constant work conversations in my head could slowly wind down. By a week in, I was far enough out of stuff that I wasn't thinking about what had happened. I was far enough away from going back that I wasn't worried about what was going to happen. I could wake up and go through the day just thinking about what was going on. 

These periods are rare. When we meet with people that matter to us, those 'Stuff Conversations' are still going on in their head. And in ours. There isn't sufficient space to just kuier. Garr Reynolds suggest that when you are doing presentations, you should always plan to finish early. You should always leave people wanting more, rather than rushing to pack things in. This comes from the Japanese idea of 'hara hachi bu'. Only eat until you are 80% full. Leave space.

Tim Ferriss also argues that being busy is actually a form of laziness. His form of culling down to the essential tasks, that have the biggest impact, is pretty extreme. It is worth checking out his series of 'four hour books'. 

I am aware that this is pointing at a problem without offering a solution. Much of our busyness is structural. Taking 4 weeks of leave is an incredible luxury. Being in one place for that four weeks is an uber luxury. If you are a global citizen, you often end up having to do a lot of travelling to get around to all the people you need to see. A trip back to South Africa, for example, may require visits to Cape Town, Durban and Jozi. If that also entail packing up and carting around an entourage of little emperors, that isn't likely to feel like much of a holiday.

The solution might lie in rethinking what is enough. Or making tough choices to make sure you are only ever 80% full. Perhaps not taking days off and proper leave is lazy?

Space for Feedback

I have a split personality when it comes to feedback. I love it and actively seek it out when I have plenty of time and air to breath. Love it is the wrong word. I know it is good for me and I love the effect it has on what I am doing. Actually receiving it can be awkward depending on who the giver is. An example of my Jekyll & Hyde relationship with feedback is in doing presentations. If I was doing one for a large audience, I would start preparing a few months before and get to the stage where I could do practice runs. Ideally, I would look for varied groups of people to listen to the presentation and then get feedback from them afterwards. Everyone is anal in their own special way, and so it is amazing how even after the 7th or 8th dry run, I would still be making changes. If you are lucky, people are brave rather than polite and are willing to give comment freely. They will not have the context that you have, but that is valuable, since neither will your audience. If the audience do know what you know, there is either no need to do the presentation or it is an exam.

Where my Mr Hyde enters is when the deadline starts approaching. At that point I start rapidly narrowing the circle of people who I am willing to accept and incorporate feedback from beyond a polite thank you (small tweaks and obvious mistakes aside). Democracy/Inclusiveness takes time. It makes people feel better and provides a better outcome, but it can make it very difficult to make a decision. If people are given an opportunity to give feedback early on, it is easier to feel comfortable with the pool of those with impact getting smaller. At some point you get to implementation at which point feedback stops being useful. You just need to get things done. Put. On. The. Ship.

In an ideal world things are always being shipped, and in small increments. If you constrain yourself by forcing single all important decisions, you are going to need to employ a Mr Hyde. Mr Hyde isn't pleasant. The best way for feedback to be less scary is when it becomes exciting. It doesn't pull the carpet out from underneath you because you are always looking for it. The is part of the idea of learning in the open. In 'the Art of learning', Josh Waitzkin talks of how Marcelo Garcia, 5 time world champion in Brazilian Jiu-jitsu, places videos of himself training on the web. In the martial arts world this is unusual since people are secretive. Garcia believes if you are focussing on what he is doing, he will be better than you.  Learning in the open provides a wonderful opportunity for constant feedback rather than staking it all on single bets.

The advantage of openness and creating more space and air for feedback is that you are feeding Dr Jekyll, and you can hide your Hyde.

Related Posts:

1. Effective v Meaningful - 25 Jan 15 - Timing Feedback for the best impact
2. Fighting Feedback 4 Oct 14 - Receiving feedback can be unpleasant
3. Instant Feedback and Fat Tails 30 Aug 14 - Connecting feedback to learning
4. Got time? 21 Dec 09 - Making time for feedback and changes
5. What do you need to do? 1 Jul 09 - Obvious but you don't do it
6. Overthinking 12 Feb 09 - Those who care enough don't mind accept mistakes
7. The Value of Feedback 12 Sep 08 - Can you pay for good feedback?
8. Sucking the Joy 4 Aug 08 - When feedback is a kill joy & you'd rather not listen. 
9. Feedback Loop 20 Jun 08 - Who is best placed to be your feedback loop?
10. Feedback Loop 27 Jun 08 - Finding people who disagree and the Golden Standard

Passionate Speaking

People aren't nasty. Some are, but those skebengas are a rounding error. One of the biggest fears people have is public speaking. This is a great example of where we think people are thinking things they aren't thinking. Usually when you have an audience of people listening to you, they really aren't trying to shoot you down. We want to enjoy ourselves and when we listen to someone speak, we look for reasons to enjoy it. Perhaps our fears come from school orals. Little kids standing up in front of other kids and doing talks when they are nervous. Now you may have already started finding holes in my story... people aren't nasty but sometimes kids are horrendous. They haven't learnt yet that no one really likes a bully. At some point even the nastiest of kids learns that it is more fun for everyone if you play nice.

My favourite TED talk is one of the first I watched. What Ken Robinson does so well is that it is just a conversation. His voice is the same voice you would imagine him using if you were sitting having a cup of coffee together. So you feel like that is what is happening. Now he is a witty Brit, and does have a way of telling stories. But mostly, he is calm. He is in control of his breath and the focus is on the content. The best way to become a great communicator is to really know and be passionate about what you are speaking about. This shines through in his talk. He really believes that we can do a better job of finding the magic that makes people tick. We all feel passionately about something, and it is rather sad that we don't tend to talk, write or share because we are worried about what people will think about our ability.

Perhaps the trick is to write or talk like you are with someone you trust. When your voice switches to school oral mode the fear may have kicked in. You forget that actually people want to hear what you are passionate about.

For some fantastic resources on presenting, check out PresentationZen.com.

 

A Sense of Authenticity

There is a subtle difference in tone when someone knows something and when they have just learnt it. We can sniff out a speech that has been repeated till it has been perfected, or if someone has lived and breathed the content. A sense of authenticity.

I love the idea of Method acting. Christian Bale is a well-known practitioner.

'Method acting combines the actor's careful consideration of the character's psychological motives and personal identification with the character, possibly including a reproduction of the character's emotional state by recalling emotions or sensations from the actor's own life'

I think what actors are doing here is trying to trick our sense of authenticity. In how pleasure works, psychologist Paul Bloom (@paulbloomatyale)looks at the psychology behind what makes us enjoy things. He discusses how deep pleasure is for us below the surface level. How important the hidden essences or story are for us. In the TED clip below (and in the book), he tells the story of how Hermann Goering was sold a fake Vermeer which came out when the dealer was put on trial for treason after the war. When Goering, Hitler's second in command and chosen successor, found out...

'He looked as if for the first time he had discovered there was evil in the world'

This is the reason why sometimes two people can deliver exactly the same message, but it matters to the recipient who the person speaking is. It is not just about the content. It is also about the story of the content. That is why I think we are very forgiving of people who don't write or speak that well, but they are writing or speaking about something they have actually done.

Then it is not just our mind that listens.

[Correction: I had to change my original post which incorrectly referred to Goebbels not Goering.]

Small Chunks

We learn in small chunks. Full concentration is taxing. That is the theory behind TED keeping its talks to under 20 minutes. No matter how engaging the subject matter we can't concentrate long. The exception may be when you are in a state of Flow - 'the mental state of operation in which a person performing an activity is fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and enjoyment in the process of the activity. In essence, flow is characterized by complete absorption in what one does.' Then time can simply disappear. That is at an advanced stage. That is when you rock. In the early stages of picking up a skill or idea, we are very conscious of time. Our Elephants need time to chew.

The Gettysburg Address was 2 minutes and 270 words long. 270. So you don't have to be long to have impact - HT Presentation Zen

Lincoln at Gettysburg 

Source: wikipedia.org

Salman Khan talks of the idea of flipping the classroom. Allowing kids to do their 'schoolwork at home' - i.e. the lessons, and their homework at school, i.e. working collaboratively or doing tutorials. This gives the ability to pause lessons, mid-sentence, without embarrassment to repeat... and chew. Then once you grasp an idea you can bounce it off other people. Perhaps there is a workplace equivalent? Could we flip the office? If that is where we need to be to communicate, build relationships and roll-up our sleeves... maybe we need to be somewhere else to learn.

One of the things I miss about being a kid is that it was pre-specialisation. You did a variety of subjects, and in the afternoons you did sport. Yes, hour long lessons could feel like an eternity (and with folks like Khan leading the way - that can change), but there were always different flavours to chew so you could push through the tough bits.

Taking small bites help us move forward. Tim Hurson says 'We tend to overestimate what we can do in the short term, and underestimate what we can do in the long term'. That feels right. If you do something small and hard everyday - it does add up. Throwing yourself at something large is overwhelming. And life is large.

The Happiness Machine

Hans Rosling is a magical presenter and master of putting powerful data into stories. This particular presentation is less than 10 minutes and is a real eye opener. As we get wealthier and start worrying about the finer things in life, it is very easy to lose track of the real big wins in terms of happiness we have made. It is also very easy to overlook the work that needs doing and start prioritising the wrong things. I know this is controversial, but I have to put it out there that it is hard to feel that sorry for 'the 99%' in America and the anger over income distribution when the fact remains that they are American. I don't dispute that distribution is an issue that needs resolving. But in our 'laundry list' of concerns - washing machines place higher. Lifting masses of the developing world out of poverty over the last few decades with the shift of manufacturing jobs towards lower wage countries has been a huge win.

The clip is also a reminder of how the last century has freed up time. Time to read. Time for mothers to spend with their children. Slowly we are being emancipated from being machines ourselves.

Exciting times.

Mind The Gap

If you know a Doctor personally, you know not to ask them for advice when you are sick. Particularly if they are a parent, sibling or romantic interest. For the most part they will tell you it will pass or to go see your Doctor. The human body is ridiculously complicated, and while they may have been generalists to start, it can be roughly equivalent to the asking someone for help with calculating the weight of concrete required to build a skyscraper since they did maths and physics at school. I am an Actuary. When I go to an annual Actuarial Conference, the majority of the papers presented only loosely touch on areas of my expertise. Sometimes I understand. Sometimes I don't have a clue. That is as an 'insider'. The TED conferences have made a real go at helping to bridge the gap and give outsiders some insight into various specialities. They use presentation experts like Nancy Duarte and Garr Reynolds to help experts convey their stories in a short, punchy and memorable way.

Robert Shiller has made an attempt to help people understand the benefit Finance adds to society in a book called Finance and the Good Society. In it he goes through the different role-players and explains in as close to laymans terms as possible what they do and why it has helped moved the world forward. The Financial Crisis gave people inspiration to label basically anyone who wore a suit a 'Banker'. With little understanding of what they do or how they add value - they are assumed to be evil. This extends beyond Finance, to Law, Politics and even Alternative Health. If we don't understand what someone does, we need rules of thumb to class them and pass moral judgements. Giving someone the benefit of the doubt is tough with regular hyperbole and stories of tragedies in the media.

It would be great if we could have a habit of developing an elevator speech (30 seconds), a Pecha Kucha pitch (20 slides, 20 seconds each) and a TED style talk of what we do and how it adds value. Better yet, perhaps we could have a habit of spending some time 'interning' for other professions. We spend a lot of time trying to get better at what we do. We need to be careful not to blinker ourselves.

Robert Shiller - Nobel prize winning author of 'Finance and the Good Society'

Image Source: www.wikipedia.org

Slide:ology

I just finished reading 'Slide:ology' by Nancy Duarte. She also writes a blog to accompany the book.

Her book, along with 'Presentation Zen' by Garr Reynolds has been one of the best selling books on the subject of presentations this past year. There is a revolution of sorts going on against the old world of 'death by PowerPoint' and these two along with the likes of Seth Godin and Guy Kawasaki are leading the charge.

Duarte's book is more of a text book than Reynolds. Many would argue that Duarte's style is far less of a jump for those who are used to old school presentations. Her feel seems more 'professional' and applicable to the current corporate culture. While a massive leap forward, I think it falls a little short of the dramatic leap that Reynolds suggests.

Both books are in my opinion ones that everyone who does any form of presenting of ideas would do well to read and reread, and have a copy on their desks.

It is a call to arms in a way. People are tired of having reams and reams of information thrown at them as they struggle to stay awake... The tools are available to communicate. Phones, Coffee Shops, Paper and Pens, Canvases, Pianos, Rugby Balls, Facebook, Presentations... now we just need to get better at it.

Exciting Times.

When are you in your Element?

I mentioned Ken Robinson in my last post and Garr Reynolds links to a great interview with him by Riz Khan. In it they mention his book coming out in January entitled `The Element'.

Robinson's thesis is that most of us are educated out of creativity. He believes the current school system was designed to produce the skills needed for an industrial age. We are now in a new age, the age of ideas. Real creativity is needed to solve the problems facing the world today.

I like the concept of `The Element' even before having read the book (not good for an objective review come January).

We all know how amazing it is to be doing something and feel `in your element'. To really enjoy it... so that time just stops in one way and passes incredibly quickly in another.

For some it may be on the sports field, for some closing a business deal, for others sitting playing with their children.

I think I feel most `in my element' when I am presenting to an audience with whom I have a real rapport. When I am taking a concept that people have really struggled with and now they suddenly `get it'.

Well... that is not completely true, there are other times when I am more in my element, but presenting is right up there ;-)

Seth on Presenting

Seth Godin writes nine steps to PowerPoint magic.

I was very tempted to re-print the whole thing here because I know people don't follow links...

follow it this time.

Death by PowerPoint is painful, and people like Seth Godin and Garr Reynolds are on a crusade to help change that.

Nancy Duarte and her team helped change Al Gore from one of those people who make you want to tear out your eyes balls, squish them between your toes and stuff them in your ears to hide their presentation, to someone who is sought after.

In one of my favourite presentations of all time, creativity expert Ken Robinson doesn't even use a single slide. He just talks. Not at you, but with you. We are all wired to listen to conversations, because conversation implies participation. Ken makes an art of this.

PowerPoint is a crutch.

Often though, the crutch isn't used to support you. It is used to beat your audience over the head with.

My two favourite points from Seth's post...

1) Tell the truth.

This involves really and truly knowing your subject matter, and believing in it. If you really believe in something, you don't need notes.

2) Pay by the word

If you are in a team, put R5 or $5 into a fund for each word on your wordiest slide. Slides are there for ideas, you are the presentation. Take home documents are there for words.

Presenting with Pictures

I haven't read the book yet, but Garr Reynolds (whose book `Presentation Zen' I highly recommend) points to this youtube video of Dan Roam outlining his ideas in his book `The Back of the Napkin':

He is not the most inspirational talker I have heard (that is a toss up between Ben Zander and Ken Robinson) but the concept is one I like.

Whether I would go with stick figure I am not sure... you can get some great simple images that are very powerful. But I do like the idea of getting everyone to think visually and draw in their planning stages.

Roam makes a point when he says if you walk into a Kindergarten and ask the 6 year olds who can draw... they all put up their hands. When you ask who can read and write, the hands are fewer and more tentative.

When you ask 10 years later... maybe 3 of the class of 16 year olds will say they can draw. They will all say they can read and write.

Drawing is an intuitive way to communicate. Why is it that we obsess with using only words and figures to present our ideas?

The Burns Effect

I haven't yet figured out how to add video clips so... do me a favour and click on the link for this clip with Ken Burns.

He is `famous' for the idea of giving motion to photos by zooming in or moving around still pictures. The clip was on Presentation Zen, one of my favourite (not often updated) blogs about presenting.

Garr Reynolds (the blogger and author of Presentation Zen) comes up with some wonderful ideas about how to bring presentations to life. What I like about the way he goes about it is looking outside your world for inspiration.

So, even as an accountant, a teacher, a lawyer, a doctor, or an engineer training managers... you can improve your presentation skills and tell a good story by learning from documentary makers, comic-strip artists, comedians, TV-series, adverts or just about anything where anyone is telling a story.

Don't Bore People.

An Idea Worth Spreading

www.ted.com runs conference once a year where they get some of the best speakers in the world to come and talk. The tickets are by invite only and cost $6000/head. They then record these presentations and put them on the site to be downloaded for free.

This particular talk is one of the most popular in the last year and the first one on the site I have watched. I think the concept is brilliant. Here, a neurologist talks through her experience of having had a stroke

Death By Powerpoint

Take a look at this presentation on presenting by Garr Reynolds. Valuable for teachers, lecturers, businesspeople or anyone who has to do a talk and doesn't want to bore people to death...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZ2vtQCESpka

At varsity there would be some lectures which ran concurrently... one would be virtually empty (often in a bigger venue with a more senior lecturer) and one would have people causing fire hazards by sitting in the aisles.

The latest term is `edutainment'. I have always been a little cynical of motivational speakers... yet I love my job, and very much lean towards the motivational speaker kind of style. Maybe that cynicism was based on whether what was said had practical implications or could be used in some way, or whether it just created an emotional high that would be followed by a low soon afterwards.

Maybe it is cynicism because I know how much we enjoy watching a good speaker, and a feeling that that gives some sort of power which can be used in bad ways.

Despite that cynicism, the book the guy in this clip wrote, and his blog,Presentation Zen, have inspired me.

I would like to put together some non-work related presentations and do them.

Perhaps blogging on some of the issues I would like to do presentations on would be a good way to start getting some ideas.

The two I have in mind are:

1) Study & Exam Techniques... working and studying at the same time.

My entire family are working and studying... so if they are reading this, I could use their thoughts.

2) Financial Planning for the layman

Liar

Thought this was a brilliant teaching technique

"Now I know some of you have already heard of me, but for the benefit of those who are unfamiliar, let me explain how I teach. Between today until the class right before finals, it is my intention to work into each of my lectures ... one lie. Your job, as students, among other things, is to try and catch me in the Lie of the Day." And thus began our ten-week course.

http://www.overcomingbias.com/2008/02/my-favorite-lia.html

Appologies for the address rather than the link, haven't quite figured that one out yet. Plus considering I am unable to edit or post pictures, my blogging skills are pretty week still.