Cornerstone Events

Autonomy and Consent are core values of mine. I believe we all have Cornerstone Events that colour the way we view the world. I was born in Apartheid South Africa. I was 14 when it ended. At the same time, my parents (and those of many in my school class) got divorced. My work life didn’t progress on the path I wanted it to, till I made a stab at self-determination. For the last four years, my wife and I have been going through Fertility Treatment. I had two surgeries to confirm that I have no soldiers. We had three unsuccessful IVF treatments with donor sperm. Huge existential questions about kids, no kids, adoption, risks, money, success, expectations. The degree of Righteous Indignation and Saviour Complexes I carry with me stems from these Cornerstones. How do you get to the point where you feel you are living life rather than life living you? Part of Autonomy and Consent has to be Acceptance and Surrender. Some things just are. No reason. No sense to be made. Then tweaked. So that every day carries some agency. Building on the day before. Building towards the next morning. Making meaning.

Surrender

Yoga is, for me, a form of self-hypnosis. Instead of prejudging where the boundaries are, I use it to learn to relax into what is possible. This doesn't come naturally to me. I am not a "surrender" type of guy. I am a step-up, all-in, do-what-it-takes fighter.  I have had to learn, and am still learning to relax. There is nothing that will stop someone who struggles to relax, like telling them to relax. It is a skill you have to learn. Not by a snap of the fingers, but through a gradual process of permission, trust, and practice.

Yoga Teacher Training

Learning to Relax