Spending Discipline

Spending discipline is not just a personal decision. Choices have consequences. It is much easier to be “harsh” or stoic, if it is just you. The yogic idea of Tapas is the opposite of a holiday. “Tap” means “to be hot”, but the practice is embracing difficulty in order to gain comfort in it. Where the heat births inner strength. Holidays are normally where we release the pressure built up in a 5-day work, 2-day recovery cycle. Something we look forward to, and use as a reward. With Tapas it is in the other direction. You remove the pleasures and complexity, and when you return to real life you suddenly see the flavour and joy. 

Much of what we spend is habitual and deeply intertwined with our community. “Nothing kills an activist like a mortgage and school fees”. The more extreme measures of cutting back expenses (in order to build buffers of emergency funds and capital to support you in difficulty), become challenging when money going out is not a voluntary pleasure. Fixed expenses are things you no longer make decisions about. They just happen. Like living in a particular area because that is where the school or job is. Moving would have real consequences. Real trade-offs. So even when there are cheaper options, they are not your options. 

When you start the journey of financial planning by writing a list of how you spend, there will be steady outflows that are fixed and regular, and bursts that variable and voluntary. There will be items that feel like your choice and others that feel chosen for you. Every journey towards more autonomy and consent, starts with “where are you”. 

Write that list. See where you are starting from.

Autonomy and Consent

Once you have a deep understanding of yourself and where you are, you can build capacity. To handle the random, ambiguous, and complicated change you are a part of. You will be able to cope. “I am okay now. I will be okay later. I will thrive.” 

Plans are neither static, nor able to remove difficulties. Plans are a tool to create a process to deal with problems as they arise and evolve. Challenge means you are alive. In movement culture (calisthenics) they focus on developing strength, flexibility, and control (see GMB.io). This is the same idea I talk about with financial yoga and stilling the waves of money anxiety. 

Strength is endurance. The building of your muscles through regular controlled stress. Through workouts, varied between Sustained Medium-Intensity and High-Intensity Interval Training (HIIT). 

Flexibility is resilience. Your ability to adapt and adjust to accommodate different situations. Through calm and relaxed lengthening of your muscles. 

Control is creativity. It is the ability to see, evaluate, decide, act, and get the intended consequences you were looking for despite all the things that are not in your control. 

Moving well gives you an underlying sense of autonomy and consent.

Moving Well

Turning on the Tom Tom

Autonomy suggests individual decision making. If it is abstract (controlled and theoretical), it works very well. In reality, our decisions impact each other in complex, ambiguous, and random ways. How do you handle joint decisions when a path is shared? Tom-Toms are one form of GPS. My wife’s name is Gemma John. We were once driving through an area in Fulham across the river from where I lived in Putney. The GPS was telling us to go one way but Gem was pretty sure we should go another way. So I turned off the Tom-Tom and listened to the Gemma John. Even in an area I knew reasonably well, I had got to the point where I had to decide whether the GPS was doing a better job than me (when in doubt), and whether to trust it or not. At what point do you delegate your decision making when you are in an area you do not understand? Or when someone (or something) can make better decisions than you, even if you believe you have a decent understanding? 

 

Taking Direction

What do you do if autonomy is really important to you, but you find something or someone else makes better decisions than you do? Imagine you had an app on your phone that was similar to GPS and Google Maps, but for life choices. In the beginning, I certainly didn’t trust GPS. When it first came out, it wasn’t great. I was working in a job where I had to visit various financial advisors in Joburg. I was a Durban boy, not a Joburger, so I had to use maps. GPS would tell me “you have reached your destination”, and I would be in the middle of the highway. I knew enough to know my destination, even if the path was cloudy. I had enough of a sense of my direction to know, “I am pretty sure this isn’t the right turnoff”. I would start by saying, “trust the GPS”, but I would end up in the wrong place. But gradually it got better, and gradually I started feeling comfortable letting it make decisions for me. Letting me focus on other things. 

Learning my way around Gauteng

 

Choosing a Level

You need to choose the level of consciousness that you want to live at. There is simplicity in just accepting the rules and doing what you're told. Like plugging in your destination on GPS versus studying the map in advance. There are definitely places I have driven multiple times that I would not be able to get to without help, because I have chosen to switch that bit of thinking off. There is simplicity in accepting your role and the pre-laid path from the menu you were given. That is fine if you enjoy what you have been given on the menu. It is less confusing. There are less options. You don’t have to think about it. You can focus on something else. When we decide that something is important, that is us projecting that it is important to us. For me, autonomy and consent are important. That makes it difficult, because you have to unpack everything and that is messy. That mess is a choice, and choices have consequences. 

Levelling Mountains

 

Healthy Disrespect

Whether it is from growing up in Apartheid, or being the youngest of three brothers, I have the common South African trait of a healthy disrespect for authority. I don't, by default, necessarily respect presumed authority. I don’t, by default, do what I am told. Sometimes in quite childish ways. Like if someone tells me that it is my decision, then I will make a decision. And if they suggest that I do something else, and I don't agree with them, I still want to do it my way. Unless they want to say it is not my decision. If they say that, I'll do it their way. Most people can read between the lines and go, “Well, actually, they want to tell me that it is my decision, but it is not really my decision. I just need to suck it up and play the game.” I'm not very good at that. I like clarity of decision-making processes. I like honesty about where the accountability and authority lie. I object to the delegation of responsibility without authority. I like it when decision makers have dirt under their fingertips from sharing the load. But everyone is different. A lot of people don’t have the baggage I do. Doing as you are told often makes life simpler.

Nelson Mandela burning his pass book

 

Decisions have Consequences

“The Man in the High Castle” looks at what how the world would have been like if the Second World War turned out differently. If Germany and Japan had conquered America and the rest of Europe. Even that kind of scenario (where we have a clear historical story of good winning out over evil), there were still moments of joy that happened in that alternate universe, that wouldn't have happened otherwise.  

Part of autonomy and consent is that decisions have consequences. Choices and events open up, and close down, histories and futures. Making peace with this idea that we have different options is a challenge. With an intricate web of ripple effects. What we do matters. To us and to others. 

I do not believe in pure equality. That is not autonomy. It would strip the world of its complexity, ambiguity, and randomness. If everyone had exactly the same experience, we would be controlled. It feels like that would be fair. But it would restrict us.

Intricate Web of Decision Making

Part of your Story

You have to choose a path. We are exposed to a number of lotteries that determine our starting point. That is something we have no choice but to accept. It is a strength. It doesn't feel like it because it feels like there should be a level of fairness. We should all have the same options. I like the idea of alternate histories. We keep having to make choices. That is part of autonomy. The reality is that every choice you make, opens a new set of options, and closes down a different set of options. 

Whenever things go badly, one of the philosophies I have tried to develop to do something awesome that would not have been possible if that thing had not gone wrong. To change the story around that event. The idea of “Fortunate Misfortune”  (See 10 Moral Paradoxes by Saul Smilansky). It is not that you start looking on the horrible moment with affection, but you stop wishing it away. It becomes a part of a positive arch in your story.  

Choices have Consequences

I studied money partly because I hated it. Not money itself, because money isn’t a thing. Money is a communication tool. Mostly I hated the unchosen constraints and impact on relationships. Money fights. Money anxiety. Money in the driving seat. There are various stories of Alexander the Great coming across a Yogi on a rock. One trying to conquer, one working on acceptance. Life is about choices, and choices have consequences. Not all good ideas are good business ideas. Personally, I would rather focus my energy on the good ideas that are terrible business ideas. But this reality dictates that we at least have to tip our hats to the world of supply and demand. Where price isn’t value, but a sorting mechanism shifting things you can count and control. If you learn to understand risk, planning, and investment, you can gradually still the waves and choose your constraints. Conscious of the consequences, but with a point of focus.

Map of Alexander's Empire and Route

Pleasure and Meaning

One of the most powerful tools in your financial stability kit is the ability to find meaning and pleasure in the plentiful. Price is not value. It is more of a measure of scarcity. A pulsing dance of supply and demand. A thrust forward of supply when the price is attractive. A retreat when it goes too low. Increased demand when the offer catches more eyes. Decreased demand when the beat becomes repetitive. Price is a signal. You need to hold on to the ability to accept or reject its offer of movement. You need to be able to find your own flow, and connect when and only when what is offered meets your needs. Autonomy. Consent. Movement. Meaning and value are there to find, but you have to build the resources to look for them. To not get swamped by the noise. To draw strength rather than fear from the gaps of silence. The music starts in the moment before the first note.

Man Behind the Curtain

When our institutions (Nations, Companies, Identities) fail us, we need to take the power away from the man behind the curtain. Small a anarchy inverts hierarchy. It recognises the danger in central decision making. The danger of lost information and distorted incentives that comes with the intentional creation of barriers to entry around wealth and information. Small a anarchy is not about creating chaos or lack of rule of law. Quite the opposite. When you empower individual decision and agreement making, you recognise and support the power of the multiple relationships that make up society. Imagine a world full of capitalists, in the sense that everyone had a buffer of cash and an engine of capital that allowed their No and Yes to be meaningful. Autonomy. Consent. This doesn’t mean people can do whatever they want. It means we are empowered to build agreements. It means a spontaneous order that has the resilience and endurance to deal with whatever comes our way. Learning. Unlearning. Contributing.

Freedom of Movement

Freedom of movement is the way to dismantle privilege. Privilege is inherited barriers to entry. Bring down the walls. As a South African, I have always felt I will know Apartheid is truly over when the electric fences and burglar bars come down. Rich countries have the same issue, they just place the fences on the borders. GMB Fitness talks about the foundations for physical autonomy – strength, flexibility, and control. These are the keys to moving with ease. Financial autonomy is all about being able to move easily. That is why I believe so wholeheartedly in the Four Freedoms (Capital, Goods, Services, and Labour). To understand privilege, understand borders. Understand the monopoly of control in bubbles. If you want to dismantle privilege, start by letting people live where they want, work where they want, work for who they want to, and buy what they want to. Start by trusting people to make their own decisions. Empower the word yes. Empower the word no. Reduce the barriers to entry and let creative destruction do the rest. Trust people. From the bottom up.

Barriers to Entry

Consenting Adults

Some people like hierarchy. That’s okay. Everyone has their kinks, and anything that goes on between consenting adults is fine. It’s the consent part that bothers me. I believe in institution building, but I worry about the power of “legal people” over people. When the institution gets so big that the individuals become abstractions. Roles, categories, functions, grades. Turning people into numbers for memos to pass up to boardrooms. Particularly when the negotiating power is lopsided, and on one side there is a person “speaking for the institution” (be it a Country, Company or a The People). For markets and communities to function well, there has to be full transparency and a sense of peers working together. Otherwise it is just bullying. Using the fact that someone has limited job opportunities or capital to incentivise them to do as they are told. 

Need a Crown?

Petty Dictator

It becomes gradually harder to accept things you don’t like, as you become more empowered to not have to accept them. Having no option but to carry on forces you to suck it up. We live in an income dependent world. Nothing kills an activist like a mortgage and school fees. Obligations that override competing desires. 30-year mortgages lay some pretty clear constraints around your options. I don’t like hierarchy without enthusiastic consent. I don’t like Petty Dictators.  I don’t like having to follow instructions because there is no option to walk. No agency. Particularly when the person issuing the instruction knows that. Teams work significantly better when there is genuine respect. At a human level, when the engagement is relational rather than transactional. When there is a sense of Peers who recognise each other’s competence and goals, and are supporting each other. In an income dependent world, Capital empowers you to say “No”. To work with people rather than just do what you are told.

Bob your Botha

Cornerstone Events

Autonomy and Consent are core values of mine. I believe we all have Cornerstone Events that colour the way we view the world. I was born in Apartheid South Africa. I was 14 when it ended. At the same time, my parents (and those of many in my school class) got divorced. My work life didn’t progress on the path I wanted it to, till I made a stab at self-determination. For the last four years, my wife and I have been going through Fertility Treatment. I had two surgeries to confirm that I have no soldiers. We had three unsuccessful IVF treatments with donor sperm. Huge existential questions about kids, no kids, adoption, risks, money, success, expectations. The degree of Righteous Indignation and Saviour Complexes I carry with me stems from these Cornerstones. How do you get to the point where you feel you are living life rather than life living you? Part of Autonomy and Consent has to be Acceptance and Surrender. Some things just are. No reason. No sense to be made. Then tweaked. So that every day carries some agency. Building on the day before. Building towards the next morning. Making meaning.

Give Cash

The theory behind GiveDirectly.org is that people are best placed to make their own decisions. As Rutger Bregman puts it, “Poverty isn’t a lack of character, it is a lack of cash”. Unconditional Cash Transfers don’t have any criteria about who receives the money, or how it is spent. Cash gives people autonomy over their own lives. All business ideas start with identifying and articulating the problems of people with money, in a way the people with money recognise. Non-Monetary programs tend to impose the views of people with money, on what problems people without money have. The addition of a layer of bureaucracy (people who aren’t in poverty receiving salaries) and costs (of means testing and delivery) means lots of the money allocated to those struggling gets lost in translation. There is an ego cost of giving cash. It means you don’t get to use your wisdom and insight to solve the problems of others. It means you trust that they understand their worlds better than you do.

Dirty Teacup

A good friend of mine loves being micro-managed. He says it means he doesn’t have the pressure of responsibility. He can just do the job to the best of his ability, as he is told, and leave at the end of the day. I hate being managed, policed, or parented. It is all good if I agree, but only without constant saying. An agreed pattern. Rule of law I accept. Like if you see a teacup that needs to go to the sink, and are about to take it, then someone tells you to take it. The stripping of autonomy grates the third of three brothers in me. I crave feedback. I like mentors. I am insatiably curious about where I could be wrong. But at the end of the day I like feeling like I am making decisions. Not over other people. I believe in reciprocity, and not expecting of others what I wouldn’t accept myself. Double Standards are a pet peeve. Consent and empowerment are the foundation of whatever agreements and approaches people prefer in a world with multiple options.

Take your cup to the sink

Different Questions

It is easy to paint a picture of my story that seems like it all went according to plan. I talk about Engine Building and Financial Freedom in a way that may make it seem like I knew how things would pan out. In reality, my philosophy is a work in progress that keeps requiring repair. On several significant occasions, I have had to reboot. When a door closes, my approach (once I have stopped sulking) is to try and think of something awesome I could do that I couldn't have done otherwise.

I could quite easily have still been working in a Corporate Job but for a different sliding door. I loved being an Investment Analyst. I loved studying the philosophies of the investors I worked with, developing my own, and understanding and addressing clients' concerns. I had awesome colleagues and clients, who because work dominates most of our current lives, were also my close friends. When I was at a green company, my blood bled green. When I was at blue companies, my blood bled blue. Support that verged on the fanaticism I show for the South African Rugby and Cricket teams. Although, I like to think I was able to back that (the work) up with clear-eyed due diligence and evidence.

The heart of my problem is I am not good at "playing the game". I don't detach very easily. I care a lot. I am wired with a level of "righteousness" that values transparency, honesty, and relationships more than sometimes allows me to just get the job done. And I am not always right when I a righteous. I am also installed with a switch, that allows me to get very task-focused and competitive if I put it on. A friend at university once told me I would never get married unless I chose a doormat, because she was so exasperated at my dictatorial nature. Another friend told me that I didn't care about the truth, I just cared about getting my way. I normally started incredibly inclusively and interested in feedback, but as a deadline approached I became a version of myself I didn't like at all.

I am also allergic to hierarchy. Not if I feel inspired, buy-in, and am clear on my role in something bigger. I have an inbuilt Apartheid South African disrespect for authority. Particularly the unearned kind in place because of luck, deceit, politics, or privilege. I can't stomach the ego that often gets attached to Corporate Classism where promotions come with perks and swagger, as people rise to their level of incompetence (and stop there).

Part of why I wanted to stop working for money was frustration. The more positive part was I wanted to see what life would be like if I didn't have to fight so hard against my inner demons. The things that matter to me most are learning and relationships. And yes, I don't like being told what to do or feeling like my fate is not in my own hands. Autonomy and consent are my food and water.

I hope that what I write doesn't come across as a prescribed "How to?" as if I have any idea about the problems you are facing. I write about money more than I would like, mostly because I believe that things would be very different if everybody had an Engine behind them to loosen the control money has over their decisions. I feel incredibly privileged to be in a position to choose different rather than more. Building an Engine isn't an answer. It allows people to ask different questions.

Trying a different angle

Developing Autonomy

The team at GMB Fitness talk of developing Physical Autonomy through working on strength, flexibility and control. Watching them move so gracefully makes it appear as if the laws of physics apply differently to them. I started Yoga 11 years ago, yet I still have aches and pains which constrain me. I declared Financial Independence 5 years ago, yet I still have costs and pressures which constrain me. The analogies between how we engage with the world physically and financially resonate strongly. Finances aren’t about what you do, they are about how you do it. They are about movement. I love the idea of more people moving through the world with autonomy, agency, and consent. Feeling empowered to make choices. Moving with mastery. It isn’t about having the Financial Freedom to opt-out. It is about releasing the way we engage with the world from the constraints of unnecessary niggles. Then engaging with the pulse, the beat, and the flow of meaning creation.

GMB Fitness - Strength, Flexibility, Control