Mr. & Mrs. Bill Clinton

I don’t know who else finds this kind of thing a relic of the past. I would doubt the two would ever get introduced as Mrs. and Mr. Hillary Clinton, or Mrs. and Mr. Hillary Rodham? I am no expert on Surnames, but I have given this question a fair amount of thought. For those who have read Ursula Le Guin’s Earthsea Trilogy, watched Romeo & Juliet, or for those who are simply used to responding to their surname, we all know that names are very important. We also live in a society that is trying to rid itself of being a `Man’s World’.

I was put in my place once, or rather forced to empathize when I was seriously asked the question of relinquishing my surname. I had thought of double barrel surnames before, but I had never thought of giving up my surname. It didn’t feel good. Yet this is what is expected of females by western naming conventions. By default I think this reinforces sexist behaviour. But is there a solution? Double-Barrel surnames become Quadruple-Barrel surnames and then resemble South Sea Island names.

Part of the problem (sic) also comes about now because women have been empowered in the workplace. After years climbing the social ladder as Oprah Winfrey, why would she want to be Oprah Steadman? A name is a brand. This is most obvious with Doctors who qualify with their Maiden Names. The thing is a Dr Meredith Grey is called Dr Grey, not Dr Meredith, so she doesn’t use her full name anyway. Some doctors use their first names and so become Dr Phil.

But… I think I have come up with a solution!

What if we kept a Matriarchal and a Patriarchal name… so my name right now would be Trevor John Ruddock Black. I could still call myself Trevor Black, or if I was in the mood, I could even call myself Trevor Ruddock. Both are my name, neither are my full name.

Now say

Mary Jane Simmons (Mother’s Surname) Seymour (Father’s Surname) marries

Trevor John Ruddock (Mother’s Surname) Black (Father’s Surname)

To become

Mary Jane Simmons (Mother’s Surname) Black (Husband’s Father’s Surname)

Trevor John Simmons (Wife’s Mother’s Surname) Black (Father’s Surname)

Without losing anything we didn’t lose before, you now have both a matriarchal and a patriarchal name. Calling myself Trevor Simmons then doesn’t bother me, since I don’t go around calling myself Trevor Black all the time. Choose the one you like. I don’t even necessarily have to change my signature (which doesn’t include my full name anyway).

Names are important. For us guys to say it doesn’t matter is because it is an issue we have never had to deal with.