I particularly enjoyed the last bit...
I first overcame my fear of public speaking by thinking the audience was beneath me, and my fear of asking women out by thinking they were not as far above me as I had previously thought.The more I have been reading about the way our minds work the more I realize how much power we have to do things like this. Make up a story that allows us to have a particular emotional response, then repeat it to yourself enough till you believe it.
It sounds like you are trying to deceive yourself, but if so many of our memories are made up anyway, it seems like our minds do this by themselves automatically. So why not? Some people are good at this. Some aren't.
I am the kind of person who has always wanted to be hypnotized, but I am so very conscious of not pretending that no matter how much of an exhibitionist I am... I have never been able to participate in those shows because at some stage I would have to admit that I was awake and rejoin the audience. Then, I would have to sit and watch as those participating got to rescue pretty girls in the audience who were 'in distress'.
There are probably far more things about ourselves... even the most basic fundamental characteristics that if we really wanted to change, we could.
But... it needs mind tricks.
2 comments:
I find it interesting that you mention fear of public speaking in the same paragraph as fear of rejection (about approaching women) because one of the "hidden" aspects of my works is the fact that the "problem" in both cases is exactly the same; we freak ourselves out by how we portray that activity to ourselves, in our mind.
Our memories ARE made up; brain researchers have shown that the process we use to recall something is the same part of the brain / mental processing as imagining the future. And the paradox is that we are indeed always deceiving ourselves, yet that deception is 100% true; the part where that deception is physically true is where the brain's neurons reach out to each other with dendrites and then those connections/networks are strengthened via myelin sheaths - that's the "behind the scenes" of how behaviors and/or mental/emotional patterns become second nature. Those neural networks are as real as real can be and can be consciously created in various manners. I've found that NLP is particularly good at utilizing & harnessing natural mental/emotional processes and directing them to our intended outcomes and desired results.
Best,
David Portney
Thanks David.
The quote comes from Robin Hanson, but I am sure it is a common response of many many people. And I am sure women have their own insecurities to replace the difficulty that we men face growing up and having to approach women.
I am just uncertain or struggling with just how much power we have over rewiring our brains. Not in that we have the ability... I believe we can, but what the implications are.
It kind of takes any blame possibility away and puts accountability squarely at your feet.
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