Say It Again

Our voices in our heads are like the news. They look for a story that sticks. The stories that stick aren't necessarily the most important, closest to the truth or the most helpful.

1. ohrwurm

   Web definitions

   1. An earworm is a catchy piece of music that continually repeats through a person's mind after it is no longer playing. Phrases used to describe an earworm include musical imagery repetition, involuntary musical imagery, and stuck song syndrome. ...
      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ohrwurm

I used to be very sceptical of positive mantras. The kind of thing you repeat and repeat until you believe it. It felt fake. It feels fake. I then did a one day silent fast on a Yoga Teacher Training Course. I was the only one doing it. I can be rather talkative and when I broached the idea, a friend said, 'There is no way you could keep quiet'. I can also be excessively competitive and excessively defensive. I handed her a slip of paper that just said, 'watch'.

I didn't make it through the 24 hours in complete silence, but I learnt a lot from the three lapses.

1) The first was in the morning when I was getting ready. The course was in Austria in the middle of winter and part of my responsibilities in the morning was to set up the translation kits before everyone got together. The translation kits* alternated between German and English speakers so that everyone could understand. I had to gather them and hand them out so had to be there early. As I was walking to the hall through the snow calmly and serenely, someone greeted me, 'Morgen'. I replied, 'Morgen'. Lesson 1: Greetings are automatic, so choose your greeting carefully. If you always reply to how are you with 'Can't complain/Not that bad', you are drilling that passive apathy into your head anyway.

2) Later in the day, a rather talkative guy who occasionally said things out of place that frustrated people was chatting to me as we were going into a lecture. I was quiet and he thought I was ignoring him not realising I was doing the silent thing. I walked on then started berating myself in my head for ignoring him and not making an effort, 'You are on a Yoga Retreat after all, be nice to people'. I had forgotten my reason for being quiet and so started speaking to him. It was only when I got a quizzical look from a conspiratorial friend that I knew I had messed up and again retreated into silence. Lesson 2: Sometimes even you don't know the reason why you did something  

3) Just before dinner, we did a particularly awesome class and I was surrounded by people I really liked. As the class finished, I was in a really good mood and as people started chatting, I joined in until again another friend caught me. I am stretching for a third lesson, but I guess it is just that it is tough to do something that doesn't doesn't come naturally.

My take home from the whole process is that we do have mantras or things we repeat to ourselves whether we like it or not. The stories that stick aren't necessarily the ones that are true. They are the ones we repeat. Just like the news when it catches on to a topic and loops and loops even when there is nothing new to say. They just say it again, or in a different way.

We have news reporters in our head. We can train them to focus on things that matter to us or we can leave them to report on whatever they want.

* Translation kits: You place it over your head and plug your headset in. Someone who understands the speaker sits close to them and translates, and voila... everyone understands.

P.S. I know 24 hours isn't a long time to keep quiet! I have subsequently done it again more successfully. If you are going to do a period of silence, it helps to not have to interact with people. Words are a useful form of communication! Also, hand gestures or notes are arguably talking anyway. I can recommend silent football though. It is amazing how much calmer you can get just by keeping your mouth shut.