When I Grow Up (by Chen Wang)

Guest Post: Chen Wang

I met Chen at university when she was not much older than the sister who is asking for advice. Chen, Megan and I all started on our career paths together, so it is interesting reading her thoughts in combination with Megan's discussion on 'The Art of Non-Choosing' and a post I wrote on thinking a little differently about career planning in 'Whippersnappers and Turnips'. We devote the vast majority of our productive energy to our careers, leaving some space in the evenings when we are tired and weekends for us to recover. We grab a few weeks here and there to travel, relax or visit family. So clearly thinking what work you want to do is a rather important choice as a base for happiness. Alice is the smart, accomplished, successful big sister most girls and boys would love to have to turn to for thoughts. She is an Actuary and works as a consultant at Oliver Wyman. She also keeps a blog at 'From Tofu to Fish & Chips' describing her adventures as a traveller and foodie. Her is what big sis had to say to little sis...

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When I Grow Up

by Chen Wang

"What should I study?" my wide-eyed 17 year old sister asks me as she readies herself for her final year of school. I'm the natural person to come to for advice; after all, I'm her big sister, I should know. Instead of dispensing sage advice, it makes me think, 'Who are we really?' and 'What is our identity outside our professions?' When you meet someone, you ask: 'What do you do?', 'Where do you work?' and 'How long have you been there?'

I also belong to the masses that ascribe to middle class values of a good education and a professional career; but are we missing something? Do we care enough to learn about the individual behind the uniform or just enough to assess their position in society? 

No one would suggest that we have enough life experience at 17 to know who we are, so is there such a need to decide what you want to be - forever? Most people at 30 or 40 are still struggling with this; otherwise there would be no career changes or mid-life crises. I think it's unfair to define an individual by their vocation, and when we obtain that position, be it a doctor, lawyer or engineer, we extinguish the possibility of being anything else. Sure, you will have other roles to play, like being a sister, daughter or friend, but to the outside world your intellect will be framed by your professional achievements.

Nowadays there's also the constant pressure to 'Follow your Passion.' From Steve Jobs' speech at Stanford to books like 'The Passion Test', there's a constant pressure to find that one true calling you were born to follow; and if you don't know, you're not doing it right. I agree that we should do things we enjoy, and follow paths that make us happy. However, at a time when society tells us we can do anything and be anyone; no matter how much success we obtain, so much choice creates a sense of discomfort that maybe... there's something else... out there...

Instead of telling her what she should do, I want to tell her that it's ok not to know, most grown-ups haven't figured it out yet; and you don't need to be just one thing, increasingly people have numerous careers in their lives. Start by doing something you're good at, something you enjoy, and see where it takes you... but more importantly, explore different paths, find out who you are and then you'll know what you you want to be!

A pic from Chen's travels as she follows some of her own path discovering advice

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In writing a blog about several topics in which I admit to being a complete beginner, I am going to have to rely heavily on the people I am writing for who cumulatively know most of what I am likely to learn already. I would love it if some of you found the time to write a guest post on the subject of happiness or learning. The framework I use for thinking about these things is what I call the '5 + 2 points' which includes proper (1) exercise, (2) breathing, (3) diet, (4) relaxation, (5) positive thinking & meditation, (+1) relationships, (+2) flow. Naturally if you would like to write about something that you think I have missed, I would love to include that too. If you are up to doing something more practical, it would be awesome if you did a 100 hour project and I am happy to do the writing based on our chats if that is how you roll. Email me at trevorjohnblack@gmail.com