I
have been niggling my cousin Craig (and you) to write a guest post. He found a moment
while in the air and he got into the flow. I ask for about 500 words since most
of us are busy. A short post on one idea means we can read it in a few minutes.
It isn’t a big ask to read, and hopefully gets us talking about stuff that matters.
Craig got in the zone and wrote a bit more than that. Awesome. There are no
rules. What I am keen on is people chatting about the good stuff. If that is
longer, so be it. If it is just what you are thinking, brilliant. No one is
your high school English teacher. Sorry Mr Robinson. You are my high school
English teacher. But I think the point is the idea, not the number of words. Not the grammar. Anyway, you get my point, so let's get to Craigs.
Craig finding moments in the air
The Narrative of Our
Journey
by Craig Ruddock
by Craig Ruddock
We’re all on a journey, we
just don’t always realise it. In the end, one way or another it will be
concluded.
For a long time when
somebody said “journey”, I assumed there was a purpose and a plan; a
reason to travel, a clear destination and a logical route to follow.
Increasingly I relate more to a metaphor of a journey - our journeys
through life, of which travel is a part, and very often a game-changing part.
Being with children really helps me with this approach. Watching and sharing
their unprejudiced inquisitive exploration of opportunities presented to them.
Every journey, big or small, is an adventure where they investigate every
possible detour along the way. From crawling to walking, then climbing and
dancing, gurgling to being bi-lingual, the journey from the bathroom to
front door - they are all equally explored and valued (often to distress
of time-conscious parents).
As we grow we all too often
follow familiar pathways and explore less and less, taking fewer detours. We
have safer journeys, but possibly a lot less exciting. As we are all on our own
increasingly complex journeys, our pathways very often cross. For me this is
where the magic happens, the unexpected surprise of a detour and being able to
discuss and share our life travelling hopes, fears, dreams and experience.
I started to become aware
of a journey when I was 4 and my parents told me were going to relocate to
South Africa. I remember every detail of that moment, early on a Sunday
morning in Birmingham in the autumn of 1982. I had no idea what it really meant
or what a life-changing moment that would turn out to be for me, but the
excitement was uncontainable. The next 9 years were a roller-coaster ride
in so many different ways. Ultimately it was fantastic experience of
sharing journeys of unimaginable diversity. Journeys of childhood, friends and
bonding with South African cousins, journeys of privilege and poverty, of
oppression and freedom, of pleasure and politics, journeys of struggles and of
people.
Me and Craig's sister Jude as little people in South Africa
Six years later after
moving back to the UK pathways started to cross again. On registration day at
Uni. in Chichester I noticed someone wearing a sweater with the logo of my old
school, Waterford KaMhlaba in Swaziland. She looked vaguely familiar so I
marched over and started a conversation. She turned out to be an old
friend, Carla. She was a pupil of my Mom in grade 5, and her mother was my
old Grade 5 teacher at primary school in the parallel class. We hadn’t had
contact since Swaziland and she still lived there travelling to UK annually to
study… on the same degree course as me! Big coincidence but I got used to it.
After 2 years at Uni. a mutual friend from our course said one evening “I’ve
just had a pint with your cousin Trevor in the Pub - he says ‘Hi'”. This
confused me as I did not have any cousins nearby, especially cousins called
Trevor. The only Trevor I could think of was in Durban. Think again. Next day
Cousin Trevor Black walks into the Student Union bar. Fast forward to
today and now my old best mate Andrew from Swaziland is living in London, and
is best mates with my cousin Stephen Black. One of my best childhood friends from
the UK, Sam, has landed-up as head of department of music at the same school in
Swaziland where Carla, Andrew and I studied, and Carla moved back also to work
with Sam at the same school.
We’re all on our own
journeys and these instances they have magically and beautifully intertwined at
various points. That has become part of our journey together. A shared journey.
We’re all
simultaneously on a personal journey as well as communal one. Be
it family, friends, colleagues, our local community or human kind, we are also
on a journey together. Like an intricately woven tapestry that weaves itself in
time, each of our journeys is a thread in that tapestry and without it the
cloth would not be the same.
Having well defined life
and career goals and destinations is an increasingly popular topic in personal
and career development. This is great. Having a destination is an obvious tool
for planning and budgeting a journey. Taking the most efficient and direct
route and mode of transport needs a destination to work towards. However goals
and destinations are only helpful if you’re willing to move and adapt them.
Things happen along the way that are outside of our control, especially when
you are travelling with others.
Even if we post rationalise
events to retrospectively build a journey, there is huge value in it. What is
important is that we are writing the narrative of our lives and in doing
so highlighting importance, adding value to and developing our sense of
identity. We will always arrive somewhere, and sometimes our arrival becomes
the destination.
Back at Uni. in Chichester,
Carla also introduced me to a Swedish exchange student who is now my wife.
Another game changer. My destination moved - to Stockholm, where I’ve been
for the past 15 years. That’s far longer than I’ve ever lived anywhere else.
And this leg of my journey has turned pages on my map, opening a million new
pathways, intersections and learning opportunities. Not least 2 great kids, the
career path I’m on (so unplanned) and a new 3rd language and culture.
Zoom out, look a the map
that grows as you move back, notice the increasing numbers of paths to take,
the obstacles along the way, but also the options for changing the journey
to move around the obstacles. Notice the intersections, the crossing of
possible pathways, and the pathways we don’t choose somebody else will choose
for themselves. All of this enriching the journey and ultimately the narrative
of time where we are a key character in wonderful chapter.
Have a plan and an
itinerary, stay inquisitive, explore different avenues, dare
to discard the plan and change the destination, consider where you are on
your journey, remember everyone else on a journey too - and most of
all, enjoy your travelling through life.
I’m writing this in seat 5A
on a B777 at 36000 ft., somewhere over Kazakhstan, en route from Bangkok to new
intersections in my life journey.
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