Friday, October 30, 2015

Time Partnership

One of the biggest obstacles to happiness, well-being, joy, fulfilment, meaning, purpose or whatever your preferred choice of word is, is poor communication. It is hard enough wrapping our heads and hearts around what is going on in our own world. We then need to convey that to other people. Words are very blunt instruments. They can be beautiful. They can can be brutal. The connections between the intent of the wielder and the impact is often disconnected.

I spoke yesterday in 'Rank that Reeks' about the cost in the work place of distance between decision makers and doers. It isn't just in professional relationships that gaps in action, availability and awareness make things fall apart. In a way, when something is said to someone who cares about you, you are delegating. When a thought is in our heads, we get to process it ourselves. We may chew on it too long and worry, but we can realise that and stop it. Once you have said something, it takes on a life of its own.

We may have just said something in passing. The person who hears it doesn't know that. Unless they have time with us, they have to make assumptions about what we meant. They have to make assumptions about our expectations. If they care enough to want to do something that fits with what we want, they are also going to chew. Perhaps well past when we have let the thought go.

Spending time with someone is effectively the same thing as not delegating. Spending time with someone is partnering with them. It allows people to be present as thoughts evolve. As feelings come and go. As the world changes. If you aren't prepared to give someone time, it is hard to stop miscommunication. 
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