To genuinely try hear the core issue someone is trying to convey, you have to make space. I call it a Bull Quota. Like suspending disbelief when watching a movie. We all sometimes derail our point by using words that mean something completely different to the listener. The words, sentences and goals we aim for are chunks of meaning. They simplify a life of experiences. Picked from the chaos we have lived. This is why honesty isn't about 'saying it as it is'. Honesty is time spent. It is the commitment to have the difficult conversations, and put in the effort to repair the relationship if it crashes because the unimportant gets in the way of important.