I grew up in the Kwa-Zulu Natal Bible Belt. It was during the tail end of Apartheid, and the birth of Democratic South Africa. I would describe the area as being on the liberal end of the conservative Christian community. I then spent a couple of years in the UK in between school and university. The UK is one of the few places where the Head of the Church is also the Head of the State (QEII). It is nominally Christian in a way that entry to many schools requires a Sunday show of face. Compared to my Bible Belt, it seemed that way when I arrived. Very few people spoke as openly about their faith. I didn't find a Church that felt like home, and stopped attending.
I then came back to university in Cape Town. On the campus of UCT, the Christian community were certainly not of the British 'keep it to yourself, crack on' variety. They were more evangelical. On one occasion, a group of guys joined a 'Fines Meeting' I was part of just to pray for us. A Fines Meeting is the doling out of silliness in punishment for silliness. An excuse for a bunch of young guys to get together and drink far too much. On another occasion, there was a reenactment of the seven days of Jericho. Where the Israelites marched the walls blowing their trumpets for seven days till they fell. The theory being that if this was done during study week around our residences, a bunch of us would convert.
This 'Private v Public' holding of belief is fairly core to much of the turmoil that is going on now. Because of my history/path I have friends with all sorts of beliefs. I end up getting into heated arguments in the opposite direction. I have friends who believe you have an obligation to call out even the slightest hint of sexism or racism or prejudice - whenever, wherever, and whoever (#NotOnMyWatch). I also have friends who believe that White Privilege is not something that worth discussing. They believe it is part of a victim mentality that holds individuals back. They believe in taking individual rather than group accountability and striking forward. Help, but don't make a fuss.
Many of these friends would not get on. Yet they are friends of friends. There is common ground. There is a way for the groups to speak even if as individuals, we are not the best person to get our message across. Whereas I used to be on the liberal side of the conservative world, I am probably now on the conservative side of the liberal world. That means I have real buddies who can better understand people that I just can't wrap my head around. Things I just don't get. They get. Things they just don't get. I get.
This leads to some very heated conversations. But. We know the other person is fundamentally someone we like. We know they aren't evil. Or Stupid. There is a foundation of respect. That makes those heated conversations a genuine attempt to understand something that is completely baffling.
I started taking a 6-year-olds approach to Friend making on Facebook. I regularly say, 'Hi my name is Trev. What is your name? Wanna be my friend?' without the what is your name bit when I see comments on threads. Particularly when they are comments I disagree with. These individuals have names and faces, and are not part of an category surrounded by walls.
I too want to see the walls come down. But maybe the trumpets aren't necessary because there is a door open. And maybe it is a conversation rather than a battle. Where everyone has something to learn.
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