The starting point for meaningful engagement is kindness and respect. This isn't the same thing as endorsing the views of the other person. Kindness is being friendly, generous and considerate. Giving someone the benefit of the doubt, and interpreting the things they say in the best possible way your worldview reasonably allows. That is hard when people wind you up. Respect doesn't mean endorsement either. Respect is a feeling of admiration for something in them - a quality, an ability, an achievement. Something that you see in them, that you value. That they have that you don't. If you can't see that in someone, then you probably don't know them well enough to have permission to attack.
Naturally none of this matters if you don't actually care about that person, or the community of which you are both a part. If your intent is just grandstanding your opinion and signalling that you belong to a different tribe to that person. If someone has a crazy view, and you care - it is probably because they are part of the community you care about. That means that crazy view belongs to you. You 'have' that crazy view. If your definition of self is in any way connected to that community.
The really substantial conversations happen when people feel safe. Not a safe space for ideas, but a safe space for vulnerability. Bad ideas should never be safe. We should however make space for everyone. Create space for all of us to air our ugly bits so they can die. Without killing everything we care about in the process.
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