Part of how we are weighed and measured is how much income we make. The assumption being that salary (the price of our labour) is a useful direct form of comparison. Spending can be directly tied to income in a hand-to-mouth world.
Spending becomes the conspicuous symbol of whether our life is a success or not. A long shopping list of age-measured milestones. “By this age, I need to have done this”, in order to be regarded as meeting expectations.
It is often community-based. Financial planning can be a team sport. There is an entry ticket price attached to who you spend time with. If you are part of a community, you are measured by its standards. Even smack-in-the-face-obviously wealthy people may not feel wealthy because it is relative to their expectations, and they may feel like they are failing. You can be the 100th richest person in the world, comparing yourself to the 99 with more.
Unless you can detach from that craziness, you are always going to be treading water. You are always going to feel like you are not in control.
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