Deep Bench

You need support in your planning. It is all well and good to have specific goals, but we go through waves and moods, and we are not consistent. We forget why we made decisions. In specific moments, we want other things. This means we all need to know what kind of support we need. 

When you are going through difficulties, what is the kind of person you need to speak to? I am lucky that I have developed a lot of good friendships. I know that in certain situations, there are specific friends I need. Certain "cards" I need to play. Sometimes support, sometimes challenge, sometimes advice, sometimes silence. I know that to develop those friendships, I need to be available when the kind of support I am capable of is what they need. We have different strengths and weaknesses, and the deeper your bench of friendships is, the more support you will be able to provide to each other. The more space you can hold. 

The idea of holding space is that you are not there to provide a solution. You are there to listen. Having someone to hold space is not saying that you are not competent and capable. It simply reinforces the self-awareness that you know who you need to walk with in the situations you are going to face. Building that capacity is important. 

As our story changes, we need mirrors to incorporate new information. We need to realise which behaviours no longer work. Which never worked (on reflection). Which behaviours might work. We need to unlearn, relearn, and change with change.

Know Who You Need