Learning to Sit

In Yoga classes you can see students who are incredibly stiff, partly because they are fit and strong. Forget the forward bend, a lot of athletic people will struggle to simply sit at 90 degrees with their legs out straight. Releasing that tension requires unlearning. Kids are very flexible, and over time because of a lack of holistic movement, adults gradually become stiff in very specific ways. When we specialise our use-it-or-lose-it bodies. To learn, you must support your capacity to deal with change. Creating space for honest feedback cycles and reflection. Understanding yourself well enough to know how you best receive feedback. 

When I wasn’t working (for money), I was part of a Men’s Group (surrogate colleagues?) where we provided support to each other. It was difficult because we saw the world very differently, and discussion could descend into unproductive debate. One way we attempted to overcome this was developing “Cards” or tools, where you could say explicitly what you are asking for. Sometimes you want advice (what would you do?). Sometimes you just want to talk (just listen and ask exploratory questions)… we called that the “Vulnerability Card”. When you expose yourself, but you don’t want to be punched. 

There are other times when you want very direct solicited challenge. The scariest card was “Invisible Man”, when you invite others to talk about you behind-your-back in front of you, while remaining silent (and NOT defending yourself).