Stillness can come not through the absence of thought, but through a point of focused engagement.
I am at my happiest when I am absorbed in a deep and meaningful conversation with someone. My favourite word is Kuier. It doesn’t have a direct translation, but I interpret it as a warm spending of time. There is catch-up. There is content. There may be wine.
Yet the point of focus is really an appreciation of the other human being rather than being defined by another goal. An attempt to see each other. Like the wonderful greeting... Sawubona... I see you.
I get into a state of flow by diving into learning things. When I feel a sense of meaning soaking in as I chip away at complexity. Flashes of insight before I get swallowed once again by confusion and doubt. Wondering in the grass rather than lost. Stumbling. Grappling. Connecting.
Everyone finds flow in a different place. Which is why relationships are one of the essential basics to come back to. To invest in. To make yourself available to people. Partly so that when you need them there is pre-loaded reciprocity. We can tell if someone is interested in us simply because they want something now.
Part of Kuiering is a lack of urgency. Part of pricing is manufactured discontent and immediacy. Kuiering is comfortable where it is. Pricing creates a feeling of wanting to be somewhere else. Kuiering releases expectation. It notices. Pricing creates expectation. It contrasts. Kuiering needs a person. Pricing needs a problem.
I am lucky to have a wide circle of friends. I find each of them is able to see me in a slightly different way. I understand, and see, and kuier with, myself better through those relationships.
No better place to be
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