Cultivating Moral Humility

Stuart mentioned Jonathan Haidt on his blog just a couple of days ago and lo and behold I come across him in my daily dose of TED in his talk on the real difference between liberals and conservatives or cultivating moral humility.

I strongly encourage you to watch it. The talk is one of those very appealing ones where you really don't feel like he is trying to convince you of anything... but rather that he is just giving you an insight into what he is thinking.

Most of the time in whatever we do, we are trying to convince others that we are right. I do it all the time, perfectly natural. My problem is I even start `steam-rolling' people when I get really excited about an idea. I cut in, speak louder or try and be more persuasive.

Really truely and honestly empathising and trying to understand someone Else's point of view is very very hard. Next time you are having an argument or discussion, catch yourself while the other person is speaking, and honestly answer the question of whether you are listening with the intention of understanding or waiting for an opportunity to make your next point. Yes, but...

There are tricks which normally feel very artificial where a facilitator gets one person to speak and the other to ask questions. Questions that are not Socratic leading questions where you already have an intended answer in mind and take someone down a path, but delving questions. Anyone who has participated in something like this knows how hard it is to NOT direct conversation in light of your current beliefs/opinions.

Haidt makes a good point, similar to the one made in the Wilkinson/Knobe Bloggingheads that often the people who are really interested in a particular field are naturally inclined to agree. The majority of TED members are liberal. The majority of scientists are atheists. The majority of philosophers & psychologists have a lot of common ground. So often, you fight and fight and fight your way to get agreement with people when the people who disagree with you most strongly aren't even involved in the discussion.

This doesn't make for great truth seeking.

I don't know what the answer is. And the platitudes like listen more, empathise more, examine dispassionately and more eagerly the sides of the arguments you disagree with... sound like the right answer, but I think they are so counter-intuitive and unnatural that without conscious active attempts to do it... it won't happen.