Thursday, August 10, 2017

Unconscious Competence (Kirsty)

Hello from Bali you beautiful people, where I'm currently listening to jazz music, eating a raw vegan doughnut and contemplating life and love. I posted this in a private group that I co-run today but thought I'd pop it up here too.
I was once engaged to a professional jazz saxophonist. We were too young and not awake enough to make it work, but being a jazz musician's partner brought some interesting observational learning. The major one that I was just contemplating was that it was wonderful watching the mixture of both an incredible discipline of practice (at least 4 hours a day) and then most beautiful flow that occurred when he was on stage doing no conscious thinking at all - which of course he was able to do because of the practice.
We can all benefit from more of that combination - in relationships, in work, in life. But how often do you translate the discipline of what you've already made happen into what you would like to have happen?
It's a magic combination.
The practice - not assuming you will just know how to do it all innately - why would you? - but getting your body and mind to a place of released blocks, opening, emotional stretch, breath, capacity for intimacy, understanding the other, etc - but working at it in everything you do. Getting into a place of unconscious competence because you've put in the hours.
And then entering into The flow - learning to let go, receive, connect, feel sensation, open more fully, breath with another, be vulnerable, hold and be held, get out of the way and let the instrument play itself, all without having to be present in your head because for that moment the 'work' is done and you can just 'be' with yourself, with others, with life.
No musician can make a beautiful sound on stage without putting in the hours and then learning how to let it flow. How would your relationship, sex, intimacies be different if you did the work? A while back I gave the whole year a theme of 'exploring connection'. That was a pretty exciting year for sure. What would yours be and what would you do to find the stretch for yourself?
If you're interested in exploring this around intimacies, relationships, sex, and love come and join us over at
We also have an exclusive 6-month programme starting in the autumn to dive into these topics in an intimate, supported transformational group. You can find out more from the link below. If it calls to you just PM me and I can tell you the next steps. 
Be in the exploration.
Inspired love to you.

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