Should love be hard? There is an irony in that the harder you try, the more difficult it is. I know I am not the best version of myself when I care too much. Yet I value the part of me that cares deeply about things. Detaching feels like not caring. I also think all relationships - friends, colleagues, family, and intimate relationships - do require a degree of hard work. Love is hard to find. You have to be willing to put the work in. To rewire yourself. To chip away at obstacles that stand in the way. To be patient. Hard can be beautiful. On top of all that you do need to detach. Detaching doesn't mean not caring. It means caring enough to look after yourself. To breathe into the relationships you are working on. To give them space.