Thursday, February 14, 2019

Last Man Standing

The struggle for Financial Security often focuses on Income. That is only half the battle, and it is the half most people have far less control of. The Outs tend to control us more than the Ins. Particularly the ones we don't choose. It is very easy when there is breathing space between the Ins and the Outs to dish out advice as an example of success. Except the real learnings need to come from the heroes making do. The ones who are capable of surviving on very little. The fighter who can get punched again and again, and get up. The first step of gaining Financial Security is finding a source of income. In South Africa, there is structural Great Depression-level unemployment. There are no jobs. The trick then becomes creating something from nothing. 

This is not something I know very much about at all. I come from a "suck it up" culture. Do the hard work first, and the play can come later. Life owes you nothing. There has always been something on the menu though. When I first came to the UK, for two years between school and university, I started to feel the grip of the Outs on my throat. Every pound I spent (multiplied into rands) gave me a klein bietjie kots in my mond.

A friend of mine also took a gap year, and was doing construction work in London. I was working as a teacher' assistant, and took a job as a Waiter and Night Porter at a local hotel during the holidays to get a little more. This was us "roughing" it... We knew university was around the corner, and that was the path to some financial breathing space. Both of us were on two-year working-holiday visas that gave us the chance to come to the UK. We could find work. We still felt like we were really struggling. Despite not having anyone we had to support.

I always have monkey's wrestling in my mind over money issues. I wish they didn't control us. Part of the gap I took was to figure out the answer to the "what are you going to do?" question. The glorious luxury of choice. Except I didn't want to choose. I love learning new things, and spending time with people. That doesn't pay. Doing stuff pays. 

I was working in Chichester, which is the South of England. I got to hide from the Outs partly by doing very little, and partly because I was mostly paid in Board & Lodging. This is a little like the luxury children have when they get to live off the BOMAD (Bank of Mom & Dad), and under their roof. London was a decent reality check provider. A "you can look, but you can't touch", display of all the options available.

That must be a little like what it feels to live in South Africa in areas where there is no work, and then popping into where there is lots of money - Sandton, Umhlanga, the Waterfront in Cape Town. "A little like" because I cracked. I decided to pick from the set menu. I chose to study Actuarial Science. Literally by looking at the options and picking the one that paid the most which best suited my skills. I didn't solve my problems by thinking outside the box. I climbed deep into the box and knuckled down.

I saved really aggressively and invested that money to build an Engine that could do the work for me. Eventually, I was able to tap out. I actually enjoyed my work a lot, and had some incredible colleagues. My greatest challenge was my distaste for hierarchy, and being managed. In the same way, as I didn't like the Outs controlling me, I really hated the idea that other people's subjective opinions would have so much impact on my success or failure. I wanted to feel like I was living life, not that life was living me. Like I cracked and chose something from the menu the first time, there was a degree of cracking and choosing from another menu. A belligerent middle finger to the idea that I wasn't the one driving my life. You can't. You don't have enough yet. Really? Watch me.

I hate answerless questions. Like people who look at those in poverty, and say "Why don't they sort themselves out?". This implies that there is a menu they can choose from and they are just being lazy. There is a path... and they just aren't following it. That is absolute rubbish. I am sure they, just like me, would love to take responsibility for their choices. We just happen to live in a menu dependent world, where we aren't all given the same menus.

And most do take responsibility. I am in awe of those still standing despite the menus they have received. Some of the biggest push back I get when I talk about Engine-building to improve your ability to "Just Say No", is from people who are well beyond Step 1 (find a source of income). Often the best place to learn, is from those with less. The ones for whom "No" wasn't a choice. The last man standing is normally the one who can take the punches.

A pre-selfy selfy

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