Unlearning is so hard
because most of the things we are really good at soak to the bone. They become
as natural as breathing or walking. When impassioned, the words that spring
from us come out fully formed as if by magic. Magic that crosses generations when
words get planted in us in years we don’t even recall. Because we hadn’t built the
palace of relevance in which to store things we care about. The information
that controls most of our decision making is internalised. Embodied. We don’t
have to think about it. When challenged, we add our intentions or
justifications after the event. No one wants to be the bad guy, so the default
voices in our heads are the PR officer and the Defence Attorney, “I am not a
bad person, my intentions were good. The unintended consequences are not my
responsibility. It is not my fault. I am not to blame.” Guilt and blame are an
obstacle to learning. Without learning, there is no endurance, resilience, or
creativity. Without learning, there is only repetition.
Source of the Tugela River
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