There is a wrestle with the way people dole out respect. It is trite to say “don’t care what people think about you”, but umuntu ngumuntu ngabantu (a person is a person through other people).
Even the most hardcore libertarian has to make agreements to engage with the world. That involves a meeting of minds. That involves respect, trust, and trade-offs.
Now if you are wrestling for respect using conspicuous “success” that doesn’t resonate with you, it can be hollow. I sometimes get resentful when I do get recognition.
When the thing being recognised is actually a trade-off I am making, and not what really drives me. When I meet the productive targets of others, but they don’t see me.
They don’t see the inconspicuous, hidden, hard to communicate ways I am creating meaning. It can then be frustrating when the only time I get seen is when I am doing the things I need to do.
Joint decision making is hard. Really seeing each other is even harder.
“Sometimes I do what I want to do. The rest of the time, I do what I have to.” (Marcus Tullius – Braveheart)
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